I feel absolutely AMAZING! I don’t care that I ate a lot yesterday. I’m not punishing myself with a tiny breakfast. Theres no use in it. None at all. My tummy is a little sore from eating yesterday, but I don’t care. It’s not going to affect how I feel today. Its OK to have fun and overindulge a little bit every once in a while. It won’t kill me.
IT WON’T KILL ME.
I have a friend who de-friended me on Facebook about 9 months ago. I was so blind and so into myself and my own little world that I didn’t even notice. He was a really close friend too, someone I love dearly and have had a long friendship with. He re-friended me this morning. He said he had to apologize to me. TO ME. Over silly stuff that happened years and years ago. He’d let those things bother him for so long because he REALLY CARES about me. A couple years ago he kept trying to get me to come over and hang out and so on…I was so nervous about the possibility of having to eat or drink while out with him that I declined…or I would “try” to see him and it never worked out. I didn’t know that he wanted to get together to apologize to me. I didn’t think about his feelings for a second. I was so self-centered I didn’t see the signs. He finally gave up and de-friended me. I didn’t even notice. And this whole time he was only thinking of me and my feelings and how he was so worried that he may have hurt me like, 8 years ago. I feel like such a fool. I’m such a fool to be blinded to how my friends really really care about me and love me. I cried. I admited to him that I have an ED. And it was my fault that I was avoiding seeing him. It was my fault that I didn’t even notice he’d de-friended me. It was my fault that we didn’t work this out years ago. And that I had just made the decision 2 days ago to let it go. His timing was impecable, but it wasn’t he who had to apologize to ME. I had to apologize to him.
He forgave me immediately.
Corn, Ham and Cheese Muffins
- 1 C cornmeal
- 1 C whole wheat pastry flour
- 1 tbsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 C milk
- 2 eggs
- 3 tbsp honey
- 2 tbsp melted butter
- 1-2 C grated cheese (we used cheddar for this recipe)
- 1-2 C cubed “uncured” ham (without nitrites or nitrates)
- 1/2 – 1 C frozen corn kernels (thawed and drained) if desired
- Place muffin tin in oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Mix corn meal, flour, baking powder and salt in large bowl.
- In separate bowl, whisk together milk, eggs, honey and melted butter.
- Whisk grated cheese into milk mixture.
- Add milk mixture into dry mixture and stir with spoon until incorporated.
- Stir in ham and corn if using.
- Remove hot muffin tin from oven and coat with cooking spray (if using), or place paper cups in pan.
- Divide batter evenly amongst muffin cups.
- Bake for 18-20 minutes or until golden brown.
The difference in how things taste is amazing. When you don’t skimp on the honey or the cheese or even the meat and veggies. I even used just a little butter on each muffin when I ate them and added the little bit of melted cheese on top as my own little flair. ^_^ I’m not afraid of food anymore. These are still PLENTY healthy. I did use the whole wheat flour and the corn meal and 2% milk cheese. I still used almond milk too. I think maybe I want to keep both of them on hand, real milk and almond milk, because I LIKE the taste of almond milk. But I want to try some of these recipes with real milk as well just to see the difference. I’ll let my husband know that if we buy it I’ll actually use it and maybe we’ll pick some up next time we’re out. But anyway, these tasted fluffy and cheesy and awesome! I ate all 4 of them and didn’t feel the least bit bad as they are good for me and will make me healthy.
Also, I’m bringing my husband roses today when I go to pick him up from his friend’s place. He really needs to know how much I appreciate him and his unconditional love. He’s really put up with a lot of shit from me these past couple years and he deserves to know how happy I am that he still loves me.
Ham, Turkey and Potato Corn Chowder
I was totally in the mood for more corn after breakfast and had every intention of making a chicken corn chowder but then realized I didn’t have any thawed out. So I just used some deli ham and turkey that I need to use up anyway!
1 cup Corn
1/2 Green Pepper, chopped
1/4 small Onion, chopped
2 Carrots, cubed
3 small baking Potatoes
2 large slices of deli Ham, cubed
2 large slices of deli Turkey, cubed
1/2 cup Chicken Broth
1/3 cup Evaporated Milk
(about) 1/2 cup Water
About 1/2 t of McCormick’s Roasted Garlic seasoning (recipe suggests a seafood seasoning, but this is my go-to spice mix for this recipe!)
1/4 t Crushed Red Pepper
1/2 t fresh chopped Thyme
1/4 t Parsley
S&P to taste
I think I got all that. Spray a saucepan with olive oil and cook onions and green pepper until lightly browned. Add corn and carrot and let it roast for a little bit. Add water, broth, spices, and potato and bring to a boil until potatoes start to soften. Add evaporated milk and meat (whichever you choose), reduce heat, cover, and let simmer for 10 minutes. Take a potato masher and mash some of the potatoes right in the saucepan to thicken the broth. Top your chowder with a bit of cheese and enjoy! This is one of my absolute favorite recipes. I make this CONSTANTLY. It’s ridiculously yummy. Use any sort of meat you want! I normally use bacon. Or of course, make it meat free if you’d like!
I did buy my husband those flowers. I bought him these gorgeous pink roses with these smaller purple flowers in between. These roses are MASSIVE, I will have to take pictures in the morning. He LOVES them! He immediately displayed them as soon as we got back to the house. As I shopped for flowers, I also bought a whole bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Unbelievable. Life is getting back to normal.
Work soup! Italian Wedding today, PLUS I had half a Turkey and Cheese wrap sandwich (I was going to get a whole sandwhich, but they only had a half left) AND a small 1-serving bag of pretzles. The significance of the pretzles is actually a big deal. They mysteriously showed up in my locker at work about a year ago. Of course, they’ve been sitting there uneaten for a year. Because I couldn’t eat them of course. So since I coudln’t have my whole sandwhich I was still a little hungry, so I ate the pretzles. Oddly enough, they were not stale or anything. They were great! ^_^
I ran around like crazy at work all day. Lots of customers, lots of questions, I did really well though! AND I felt really amazing all day! My coworker thats been helping me through all this whom I love so much was there today and I was SO PROUD to tell him about my epiphany. He’s incredibly happy for me and is just a fountain of encouragement and love. THANKS DARLING! You’re amazing!
I’m going out to breakfast with one of my best friends in the morning. I’m probably going to get my favorite waffle dish at my favorite breakfast resturant. My god I’m excited. It’s been years since I’ve had that dish! I can’t even express how happy I was to say “Yes! Lets go out to breakfast!” and not think twice about it. I can’t wait to tell you all about it in the morning! I might be so excited I won’t sleep again!
Exercise: 8 hours of running around my retail job like a chicken with its head cut off. Loved it!