Food and weight-maintenence blog for the POST diet girl

It’s conflicting. I don’t know how much I’ve gained, probably about 5 lbs. I no longer fit into my jeans. Granted, they were already pretty tight on me, but now I can barely pull them up over my legs. I know I NEED to regain weight, so I’m attempting to see it as a good thing. I don’t know how much I weigh as I’ve given up my scale to a friend and I’m not certain that I want it back. It ruled my life for so long. Not having it in the house is almost refreshing. But I am starting to get nervous. I’m hoping going to the gym every day will help bring my weight back under control, also I’ve stopped smashing on chocolate as its no longer “the holidays”, I’ve got no excuse to be eating that badly. The weirdest part of regaining weight is that I’m just as unhappy with my body as I’ve ever been. So really, I’m happy with it. Does that make sense? Even when I was 120 lbs I would look down and see a small tummy and curse myself for not being able to get rid of it. Now I look down and see that same little tummy, and though I’m still unhappy with it, I can rest assured I would be JUST as unhappy if those extra 5 lbs or so were not on me right now. So I might as well accept it and not let it bother me because IT DOESN’T MAKE A DIFFERENCE either way! I’ll never be perfect and therefore will never be happy with my body. So just go with it!


Raspberry Cream Cheese French Toast:

3 cups milk
1 loaf of bread
1 T. cinnamon (I love cinnamon but if you don’t, use less)
8 oz cream cheese
10-12 eggs (depending on size)
1/2 cup maple syrup
vanilla 1 1/2 T
raspberries (frozen or fresh)
Streusel Topping ingredients:
4 T. softened butter or margarine
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup flour
1/2 t. cinnamon
a pinch of salt

1- Grease a 9×13 baking dish

2- Break up half the loaf of bread into bite-sized pieces and put in the backing dish.
3- Cut the cream cheese into small cubes.  And spread them over the bread.  I try to imagine that whoever is eating it gets a little piece of cream cheese in each bite-so that’s an idea of how to cut and spread it out.
4- Break up the other half of the loaf of bread into bite-sized pieces and spread over the cream cheese in the dish.
5- Prepare the egg mixture in a separate mixing bowl: Combine the eggs, syrup, milk, vanilla, and cinnamon. Whisk them together.
6- Pour the egg mixture evenly over the bread in the baking dish.  I always press down/flatten any bread that isn’t covered so that it all gets soaked.
7- Cover and refrigerate overnight.
8- In the morning make the streusel topping and sprinkle over the top.
9- Sprinkle the raspberries over the streusel topping.
10- Cook uncovered 375 degrees for 50-60 minutes
Be sure to check the middle-if the middle it’s not done, cook longer.

*I had to find a way to use up the mango cream cheese glaze stuff that I made for my friend’s cupcakes the other day and this was my solution! I made a half-recipe and since my husband didn’t want any, I ended up eating the entire damn thing. But it was SOOOOO good and I know there’s no use in keeping around leftovers because I won’t eat them. So I might as well eat all of it. Hehe. YUMMMMM!!!


The 2 different light sources in this pic were making it VERY difficult to take a good picture…grrrrr…

So this was a chicken sandwich that I grilled on my Foreman and included a pumpkin spread that was amazing and I will TRY to remember how much of everything I put in it:

Cream Cheese Pumpkin spread:

1 oz Cream Cheese
1/8 cup (or so…prolly a little more) Pumpkin, smashed
1 T Peanut Butter
Crushed Cashews
Splash Lemon Juice

Just mix all this together and throw it on the sammich! I pan fried a piece of chicken with S&P, a little ginger and some garlic. I added mushrooms, onions, tomato and chipolte cheese on top and stuck it all in some sourdough bread. Grilled it for about 5 minutes until the cheese looked melty. Messy, but DAMN GOOD!


Pumpkin Gnocchi with Butter Sage sauce and Goats Cheese

Pumpkin Gnocchi:
1/3 cup pureed Pumpkin
1/2 cup (or so) All Purpose Flour
1/2 cup (or so) Whole Wheat Flour
1/3 Egg (Yup, I will save the rest of it because trust me, I use just portions of egg all the time)

Prolly something else like parsley or something

Mix everything until you add enough flour that it forms a ball and is no longer ridiculously sticky (a little sticky is OK). Roll out into snake-like tubes and cut into little 1 inch pieces. Boil some water and let them cook for about 10 minutes (they will start to float before they are completely done cooking.)

Brown Butter Sage sauce:
1/2 stick Unsalted Butter
1/4 t Salt
1/8 t Nutmeg
1 T (or to taste, I like sweet stuff) white Sugar
1 T fresh chopped Sage (or 1 t ground Sage)

Melt the butter in a saucepan. It will get frothy for a while but will settle down. Add spices and keep stiring. You will eventually see little brown granules forming on the bottom of the pan. Take it off the heat and let it cool for a minute or two. Serve immediately.

I served this with goats cheese sprinkled on top, which was AMAZINGLY good, but fresh grated Parmesan works too! I sorta mixed it all together after taking this pic and it was really really yummy, though not particularly pretty. I need more practice at the sauce because I messed up the first time and had to throw it all out hehe. But it turned out great in the end!

Exercise: 1.5 hours at the gym


Comments on: "What its like for an ex-bulimic to gain weight" (1)

  1. i think you’re perfect, miss pistachio. posts like this are why you permanently appear on my blog roll. these kinds of thoughts are what so many exbulimics experience, and these make them (and me) feel less alone.

    i posted an exbulimic food design to my blog yesterday. i hope you’ll check it out and give your feedback. i know you’ll probably hate it because it’s NOTHING compared to the amazingness of your food. but i love it, and i’d really love to know what you think, from the exbulimic and cooking lover perspective. here is the link:

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