I was finally hungry this morning. FINALLY!
So I ate a nice hearty amount of good, healthy food.
I’m hoping for it to be good, productive day. I’d like to get a project done and in my store by the end of the night. I also want to set things straight with my husband by the end of the night. I still think I should stay completely off of my ankle today, which sucks because I’d love to go work out and get my mind off of shit for a while. But there’s things I need to work on here.
I’ll be ok.
Baked Raspberry and Banana Oatmeal
Taken from: http://acozykitchen.com/baked-raspberry-oatmeal/
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 ripe bananas, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 teaspoon of white or brown sugar
2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, divided
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg, divided
2 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup slivered almonds, divided
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 cups milk
1 large egg
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups frozen raspberries
In a small skillet, over medium heat, melt 1 tablespoon of butter. While butter is melting, toss sliced bananas with sugar, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg. Add banana mixture to the skillet and cook for 2-3 minutes, or until bananas are brown. Set aside.
Pre-heat the oven to 375F with a rack in the top third of the oven. Generously butter the inside of an 8-inch square baking dish.
In a bowl, mix together the remaining cinnamon and nutmeg, oats, half the almonds, the brown sugar, salt and baking powder
In another bowl, whisk together the the milk, egg, half of the butter, and the vanilla.
Arrange the bananas in a single layer in the bottom of the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle two-thirds of the berries over the top. Cover the fruit with the oat mixture. Slowly drizzle the milk mixture over the oats. Gently give the baking dish a couple thwacks on the countertop to make sure the milk moves through the oats. Scatter the remaining berries and remaining almonds across the top.
Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, until the top is nicely golden and the oat mixture has set. Remove from the oven and let cool for a few minutes. Drizzle the remaining melted butter on top and serve. Sprinkle with a bit more sugar or drizzle with maple syrup if you want it a bit sweeter.
Serves 6, generously
*I made a half recipe and followed it exactly. The only change I made was after I put the berries into the bottom of the pan I sprinkled it with a little less than 1/2 T white sugar, I just know I like things on the slightly sweeter side. I actually HAD an appetite so I ate all of this. Really though, it was oatmeal, fruit and milk. Nothing bad for me about it. No flour or cornstarch and not too much sugar. It was really good and I do not regret eating it all. I would absolutely make this again!
I did not have lunch. I used this time to speak with my husband. He has decided to choose alcohol over me. He doesn’t want me to leave, but he doesn’t want to fix himself. So he’s telling me that I deserve better than him (which I do) and I should move out (which I should) and that he just wants me to be happy and have everything I deserve. He cannot give that to me. He could, and he wants to, but he chooses not to. He’d have to give up being drunk all the time and he needs that crutch to escape his own depressed brain.
His mom left his dad due to HIS alcoholism. He eventually cleaned up and changed and has been sober for 21 years. I’m hoping maybe he can talk some sense into his son. He’s throwing everything away for absolutely nothing. I love him. If he said “Please stay, here’s the steps I’m going to take to fix this and I will show you that I can fix this,” I would stay. Instead, he’s telling me to go.
So I’m looking for apartments starting tomorrow.
I’ve asked him if its ok for me to live here while I look for a place. He said yes. I’m all moved up into the attic. It will be very cold up there when it starts snowing again, and he has offered to move up there instead, but I no longer wish to sleep in our bed alone.
He went out drinking with his friends.
He claims he will be home tonight, but he won’t be.
I went to my brothers to not be alone. I’ve never felt so alone in my life than after he left to go drinking. Him and his wife were INCREDIBLY welcome and supportive. They took me out to dinner which was so sweet. They’ve opened up their house to me if I need to move out sooner than later. I’ll be ok. I’ve got people who love me.
My sister-in-law even gave me her phone so I could take a picture of my dinner!
Chicken Piccata and Cilantro-Lime Slaw
Really good, but I prefer the piccata at another restaurant. I WAS glad that this didn’t come with pasta as I did want a pasta-less dish tonight. This is another version of comfort-food for me. This dish was the one that inspired me to start cooking, so it is VERY dear to my heart. It definitely made me feel a little better.
I look down at my cat in my lap right now and feel terrible that I’ve very possibly brought him into a broken home. He’s such a good cat. He doesn’t deserve this. But my husband is going to need him. He might save his life. I know the power of animals.
When I’m gone, my husband won’t last long.
He’ll either drink himself to death or down a bottle of pills.
I’m not exaggerating in the least bit. He’s encouraging me to leave so he won’t have a reason to live. He wants to be self-destructive. He hates himself. He wants to die. Maybe if he has the cat, he won’t want to die. He’ll have something he’ll need to stick around for to take care of that depends on him. He’ll probably try giving me the cat for this reason. Should I take the cat? Just to make sure he’s taken care of and safe? Or should I leave him here in hopes that he will be a reason for my husband to live?
Exercise: None, I had to stay off my ankle today.