Food and weight-maintenence blog for the POST diet girl

I started getting ready for work. No time for a shower…God I feel like crap. What’s wrong with me? I feel like I’m high…floaty. I know yesterday I went on that long walk without any water and got an awful headache from it. But I drank a ton of water when I get home and took a nap. This made me feel a lot better. So why do I still feel so awful today? I go to zip up my boots.

They won’t zip.

And I mean they REALLY won’t zip.

I’m not talking about all of a sudden its a little tight around my calves. I mean there’s a good inch of space where my boots won’t fit around my gigantic legs. What the fuck? 3 days ago I had no problems with these boots. Today it would take a miracle to squeeze my fat cankles into these things.

My disorder kicks in and I freak out for a split second.

Then I remembered my walking fiasco yesterday. I got majorly dehydrated. Of course. I’m retaining water.

I still can’t zip up my boots though…going to have to wear my trainers to work and hope nobody cares…

Oh how I felt like a fat cow. Yet I realize I’m not. I realize everything is fine and this is just an isolated incident. My boots will fit me tomorrow. My waist is still a 26.5, it’s been that for months now. It’s nothing more than water. But my reaction scared me at first. I started thinking about not eating dinner at work that night. And that maybe I ought to start watching what I eat again (which for me means restricting). Then I remembered that I’ve been fine. My eating has not been terrible. I have not binged. I have only had a few snacks (those Tagalongs for example) and don’t eat those on a daily basis. I’ve been walking to work and the store. I haven’t been to the gym, but I’ve certainly been burning plenty of calories.

I’m fine.

Those were some scary moments though and I did not like them one bit.

Breakfast:

Here I wanted to show not only my breakfast (just a bowl of cereal, I’ve got too much work to do before going into my retail job later to fuck around with breakfast) but also the adorable closet that I am typing to you in. That’s right, the tiny little office you see above is actually a closet in my living room. Complete with a window (which I get an open connection from), shelves already built into the walls and the only chair I own (I have to drag it back and forth between my work table and my “office”), I have a beautiful little setup to do my Interneting on! (Note the cupcakes on my Firefox persona…yep, I think about food alllll the time!) I hope you enjoy the pictures!

Lunch:

Creamy Tomato Rice Soup

As I am out of bread and chicken/beef stock, a tomato-based soup was all I could make. I LOVE tomato rice soup. I had to doctor this up a bit because it’s just what I do!

1 cup Crushed Tomatoes (canned)
1 cup Milk
1/2 cup Water
1/3 cup uncooked White Rice
Fresh chopped Rosemary, about 1 t
That chicken seasoning again…I really need to buy some basil and oregano…
Shredded Monterrey Jack cheese, I don’t remember how much
1/2 T Butter
Fresh ground Pepper
Salt

Heat tomatoes, milk and water to a simmer. Add seasonings, cheese and butter. Add rice, cover and cook for 15 minutes or until the rice is tender. Yum yum yum yum!!!!!!!!!! Definitely the best tomato rice I’ve made yet! Maybe you ought to go buy this chicken seasoning, I think it’s Kroger brand.

Dinner:

I went to work broken-hearted about the boots. I walked there. It’sΒ  not far, about a 25 minute walk, 2 miles. At work I decided I cannot let that get me down. It’s not me, its the water retiention. I’m not fat. I’m not ugly. I’m exactly the same. I should not punish myself by not eating. I have a bowl of broccoli cheese soup. I could have had the low fat chicken noodle, but I didn’t want it. I wanted the broccoli. So I had it. And felt good.

I even had my usual ice cream when I came home.

The next morning I fit into my boots.

Everything is fine.

 

Exercise: 4 mile walk

Advertisements

Comments on: "How I felt abosolutely terrible about myself today" (8)

  1. I never realsed retaining water could have such an effect! I guess it’s because I always drink ridiculous amounts of water plus veggies, fruit, tea etc. so my bloating/not fitting in to things is always caused by fat and nothing else.

    I love your little cubby-hole πŸ™‚ It’s such a sweet (literally as well, given the cupcakes!) room and it must be lovely to have a view out of the window.

    I’m glad you banished those negative thoughts and that the boots fit well today πŸ™‚

    xxx

    • It is!!! The busy street outside is better than TV! I don’t even need one! Yeah the boots were fine, I’ve been drinking a TON of water the past day now too, so that helps a lot if course. Just need to remember to bring that bottle on my next walk and I should be ok. Thanks for the encouragement Jessica!

  2. Hi Miss Pistachio (I love your name)
    totally commiserate with you over the oedema, it’s something I struggle with constantly and will for life because of my ed and the damage it’s done. It can really play with your mind and body image, especially as although you know it’s not weight, you ARE bigger with the fluid. I love your attitude, really love it. You are refreshing to read, someone who isn’t too full of herself and doesn’t put on any pretences but at the same time, is able to admit to your vulnerabilities and yet are determined not to let them bring you down.
    I love your soup, I’m going to try it. (Love you not even measuring the cheese πŸ™‚ )
    And I love your cubby! I can imagine the sun coming in the window at some point which would be nice on a wintery day. It needs some green though, have you ever thought of getting a little window box? You could grow basil and oregano in it πŸ™‚

    • It was so weird! I did have a MASSIVE headache, I got a pretty dehydrated. It was obvious what the problem was, but for a second I thought I was the fattest cow on the planet. And that was awful. I hope I can rationalize the situation quicker next time! OHHH the soup was soooo good! And its true, I just grabbed a few little cubes of cheese and grated them right in…didn’t measure any of it at all hehe. So just however much you think you’d like! AND YES I TOOOOTALLY want a window box with basil and oregano!!! The thought has crossed my mind many times! I will do it!

      • It’s funny how our bodies work. I’ve been dehydrated AND had oedema at the same time too – and it doesn’t make sense and is infuriating when that happens, I find myself saying, hey, excess water, why can’t you make your way to the bit of me that needs you? I think our bodies tend to hold on to water in response to dehydration – so perhaps it was your body overcorrecting from the previous day. I’m glad it’s gone down now.
        It’s so easy to start a herb garden!! I have just gotten into gardening myself, and have been surprised at how easy it is. A few seeds, a small bag of potting mix, your box, and you are set – just keep it watered and you will see them grow in a few days, it’s fascinating because they can grow so fast it’s almost in front of your eyes! Enjoy πŸ™‚

      • It does, which is why it took an extra day to normalize again. I can’t imagine being dehydrated AND having oedema at the same time! I would be yelling at my body too! My green thumb is just nonexistent…I’ve tried having houseplants and seem to kill them off nearly immediately. I’ve tried flowers, cacti, foliage of all sorts, I even had a lemon tree once (it was given to my husband as a Christmas present from my dad and for some reason he absolutely refused to take care of it, which pissed me off so fucking much) and tried SO HARD, I mean so VERY VERY HARD to keep them all alive and they are all dead. I will attempt a window herb garden as I do get a lot of really great light in this apartment and think it will work. I will have to take pictures when I start one!

  3. Inspiration. That is what you are!!! Congratulations on getting through a really fucked up day.

    • It’s not easy, its hard to remain rational. It really is. All I wanted to do for a split second was just not eat for a week, you know? And I thought to myself “I remember a few months ago when I thought my legs were thin and hot and gorgeous, now I can’t even zip my boots over them.” But they still are gorgeous! I just have to remember that our bodies do crazy things that we can’t always control sometimes and that its ok. ^_^

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: