THIS time when I went for a walk, I got home at the perfect time for a visit!
It’s nice when I just pay attention. I’d also already taken a shower and made myself look pretty (although I did go walking in the heat again for a period of time, at least I don’t LOOK like I’d been).
A lot of things come down to looks. I’d sort of just noticed how concerned I am about looking pretty for him. He thinks I’m pretty whether I’ve done myself up or not. Whether I’ve spent an hour picking out my clothes, or 5 minutes. Whether I’m 135 lbs or 185 lbs (he insists I was never “huge” and was still gorgeous). He always thinks I’m beautiful.
But I still concern myself with it. Why? So that OTHER people always think his girlfriend is hot. Of course I want to look pretty to him. Even if he’s the only person who’s going to see me, I’m still embarrassed if I don’t look perfect. But it’s when we go out that I am MORE concerned about looking hot. This is so people look at us and say “WOW, he must be really fucking special and awesome to land a girl like her!” So really, it IS still for him. It’s just so that other people look at him differently. People may not see much when they first look at him. Women have passed him over for many, many years. But people should KNOW that he must be completely amazing, something more than outward appearances may garner, to land a hot girl like me. And he is beautiful. He’s the most beautiful man I know. I really don’t give a shit if other people think he is or not. If they don’t think he is, they’re wrong.
So why can’t I see that about myself? Why can’t I see that it doesn’t matter what other people think about MY appearance? That if they don’t see me as attractive, they’re flat out wrong? If I can think that so passionately and so fully about someone else, why can’t I see that in me?
I must have forgotten to take a picture of breakfast. Whoops. Uhg. Well, it was just cereal anyway. Nothing fancy.
I went to the local market that puts out samples of stuff and ate “lunch” there. So I had a few samples of cheese, a little bread, a little chicken, a little ham, and some fruits and vegetables. I’ve also learned from doing this that I LOVE raw corn on the cob. It’s so SWEET!
Roasted Butternut Squash and Parmesan Sauce with Fried Sage Leaves
Adapted slightly from: http://userealbutter.com/2012/01/24/butternut-squash-pasta-sauce-recipe/
2.5 lb butternut squash, peeled, cored, and cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
3 tbsps olive oil
1/3 cup shallots or onions, small dice (I used onions)
1 cup water, more as needed (I used milk again instead of water…I just don’t like adding tasteless ingredients to my food is I don’t have to)
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, freshly grated and packed
1/3 cup sour cream or Greek yogurt (I used Greek yogurt)
1/8 tsp nutmeg, freshly grated
salt to taste
2 tbsps unsalted butter
12 medium sage leaves, fresh
extra grated Parmesan for topping
freshly ground black pepper
ADDED: Large pinch of Brown Sugar (once again, I always add brown sugar to my squash dishes)
Preheat oven to 350°F. In a roasting pan, toss the butternut squash cubes, 2 tablespoons olive oil, 1 teaspoon salt and 1 teaspoon pepper together until the squash is evenly coated. Roast the squash for 45 minutes, giving them a stir with a spatula every 15 minutes until the squash is fork-tender. Remove from oven and place the butternut squash in a blender or food processor. Heat the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a small frying pan and sauté the shallots or onions until they start to brown. This takes a few minutes. Place the onions in the blender or food processor along with a cup of water. Add more water as needed – mine was super thick so I ended up using 2 cups of water. Purée the squash until smooth. Empty the contents into a medium saucepan and set on low heat. Stir in the Parmesan cheese, Greek yogurt (or sour cream), nutmeg, and salt to taste. You don’t want it to boil (and you don’t want the cheese to melt into a giant clump), just heat the sauce. Meanwhile, melt the unsalted butter in a small pan on high heat. When hot, place the fresh sage leaves in a single layer in the butter and fry. Turn them over after 30 seconds and continue to fry until crisp. Remove from pan. Serve the butternut squash sauce over any pasta (I like it with fettuccine – we had a pound of pasta) and sprinkle Parmesan, salt, and black pepper on top. Garnish with 3 fried sage leaves. Serves 4.
*FANTASTIC! I’d NEVER had fried sage leaves before, COMPLETELY worth the tiny bit of extra effort! They come out crispy, like chips! The ones from my garden are small, so I should have fried a few more for the large portion of whole wheat linguini that I made…but all in all, DO THIS!
Please tell me what you think about the rant above. I think I need an attitude adjustment regarding myself…
Exercise: 5 mile walk