Food and weight-maintenence blog for the POST diet girl

Archive for the ‘Anise / Fennel’ Category

Camera FAIL! Also life fail (not mine).

The battery died on my camera today.

No problem! Let me just  get my spare battery from my…oh….hey where’s my battery charger?

*looking**looking**looking**looking*

Hmmm…

It seems to be missing.

This is generally an item that would go straight into my “Very Super Important Shit Box”.

I know where I usually plug it in. Yet I do not remember packing it. It must still be at brother’s somehow…I will have to go looking for it tomorrow while I am there.

Because of this though, I have no pics of my made-up dinner…which turned out decently good despite the fact I have no measurements for you. Well…I’ll hold off ordering a new one until I know for sure I can’t find it at my brother’s house.

I also got an interesting phone call today.

I have to use Google Voice as I am too poor for a real phone. When someone calls it, I get an email through Google with a “voice to text” message. I got one from ex-moron. He somehow got out of prison a day early.

I call him back and am curious as to who picked him up from jail since no one realized he was getting out today.

He said SHE did.

Yup.

SHE is officially the biggest moron on the face of the Earth.

I had respect for her. I told everyone that she had a good head on her shoulders for dumping him when she found out she’d been lied to for a month. Because it had to be difficult. I’d heard she really REALLY fell for him. So I greatly respected her for her decision.

But of course, someone would have to be an absolute idiot with zero self-respect to want to date him after all of that bullshit.

I’ve written her off. She deserves him. A girl with THAT LITTLE self-respect deserves a guy like him.

I’m sure she’s nice. I’m sure she’s very pleasant and fun to be around. But she’s stupid. She’s obviously easy to control. Easy for him to keep under his thumb. He will like her for that. And he will walk all over her. And she will let him.

I did not let him.

I wish them the best of luck.

I feel painfully sorry for her.

 

Breakfast:

I just had a bowl of cereal. I wanted to make biscuits, but ended up not being much in the mood for them. I was having trouble with a customer and log-in information on certain websites that I order supplies from and it was just an awful morning.

Lunch:

PB&Jw/B Sammich

Also honey.

Dinner:

I made something up entirely with pureed and diced mango, tofu, cauliflower, anise, garam masala, berry liqueur, brown sugar, half & half, butter, soy sauce and rice vinegar. And while it turned out good, I just can’t remember any measurements to save my life. My camera died while trying to take a picture of it. So I don’t see much of a point in giving details.

 

I put off doing work until I calmed down a bit. I don’t know how to describe how I feel. I am not upset that he is seeing someone. I am upset that someone I was so proud of and had so much faith in disappointed me.

I should also mention he is the Mayor’s daughter.

Can we say, “acting out”?

“WOW dating  a married, alcoholic, convicted felon will REALLY stick it Daddy!”

They deserve each other.

 

Exercise: Walk to the post office

I’M FREE!!!

Thats right everyone! I’m done. I’m done being a crazy person! I’m done having an ED! I am FREE of the anxiety, worry, and most importantly, the scale. I did not weigh myself this morning. I was not upset or anxious about this. In fact, I was so excited to wake up and NOT weigh myself this morning that I damn near couldn’t sleep last night! It was JUST like waking up on Christmas morning kids! The gift of freedom was just an amazing thing to have this morning!

I had a long discussion with my husband last night. No, I didn’t tell him about my ED, but he’s not an idiot. He knows I eat, he sees it, so he doesn’t think I have one. But he DOES see everything else. The depression. The irritability. The distance. The change in my bubbly personality. He misses me. He misses who I used to be. My friends have approached him asking if I’m ok. They also miss me. And then it hit me. I FINALLY realized that it’s not worth it. It’s not worth losing my husband. My friends. Myself. Just to count calories. To feel terrible about myself if the scale reads 126. To be secretly upset and anxious at every family meal or every time a friend asks if I’d like to have a beer with them. NONE of this is worth it. So I’m done. I’m just done. I’m not done blogging, I still need this to keep me in check. I just want to eat normally and not step on a scale every day. Eating normally still includes having 3 meals a day. So I will continue to do that. I will check in with my weight when I feel like it. Its going to be a while. As long as my clothes fit, I don’t see why I should determine how I feel about myself by what the scale says. So guys, this is a new start for me!

Breakfast:

My first mostly not-diet Waffles in nearly 2 years

Ingredients

  • 3 tablespoons butter
  • 1 1/2 cup flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • 2 tablespoons sugar
  • 1 1/2 cup milk
  • 2 eggs

Directions

Preheat waffle iron and read manufacturer’s instructions. Melt butter in microwave. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. In another bowl, beat together milk and eggs. Whisk liquid mixture into dry ingredients until just combined. Stir in melted butter. Brush hot waffle iron with butter. Spoon about 1/2 cup of batter onto iron and close to cook. This first waffle will be the tester. Cook waffle until golden brown. Remove to plate and keep warm.

*For the first time ever I cooked with actual Country Crock 70 cals per Tablespoon BUTTER (ok margarine, BUT STILL, it was NOT the fat free 5 cals per T fake butter that I’ve been using for 2 years now) and I did not cut down on the sugar. I did a half recipe of this which made 2 huge Belgian waffles (with a little leftover batter), I still used Almond Milk (I really like it, I may just keep using it) because it was all I had and used a full egg. I still used sugar free Maple Syrup, but I didn’t try to barely drizzle it on, I used a full serving of it. This all sounds stupid, but its all a huge step. It was soooooo yummy and I just can’t wait to keep making real waffles! THANK YOU MOM for buying me my amazing waffle maker! She has no idea how much she’s helped me.

Lunch:

Cashew and Sweet Potato Chicken with Spinach

Cashew sauce:
Half a handful whole cashews, about 1/4 cup
1/4 cup Evaporated Milk (I used fat free)
1/8 cup Almond Milk
A few strands of Cilantro (leaves and stems)
Small chunk of roughly chopped Ginger
1 t Fennel seeds
Splash of Lemon Juice

Stir Fry:
4 oz Chicken
About 1/4 cup chopped Anise
2.5 oz or so of Sweet Potato, cubed
Couple handfulls of Spinach, hand-torn
Small handful of Raisins
1 cup sliced Mushrooms
Dash of Cinnamon
Tiny pinch of ground Clove
1/4 t Coriander
1/2 T Brown Sugar
S&P to taste

Blend all sauce ingredients in a food processor. Boil potato chunks for about 8 minutes. Spray a pan with oil and cook anise, chicken and spices until chicken is cooked. Add mushrooms, raisins and sweet potato until moisture starts cooking out from mushrooms. Add cashew sauce and cook down to desired thickness. Add more milk if its too thick. Add torn spinach on top and cook until wilted. Stir in and serve on a bed of couscous. Throw a few extra whole cashews on top.

I HAD to immediately brag to a friend that my lunch was definitely far superior to whatever he ate. It didn’t matter what he had. This was awesome. I’m in love with using anise in place of onion. And y’all know I’m all about using onion in everything. The flavors are just so much lighter and different! It reminds me of summer. Soooooo good with a creamy sauce! I’m officially out of cashews…

Dinner:

Art Walk food.

My hubby took me on an art walk in the downtown of a really nice area of town. All of the stops had free food and wine. He indulged in the wine and since I was driving, I didn’t drink, but of COURSE indulged in all the great food! One place we stopped at (was actually a home that was an art piece in itself, gorgeous) had an inhabitant that obviously loved to cook gourmet dishes. I grabbed something that looked absolutely delicious and of course IMMEDIATELY dropped it on the floor. I felt SO HORRIBLE. Like SO bad. I almost left in shame without trying anything at all. Luckily I was encouraged to stay and try the amazing looking little appetizers. My favorite at this house by far was the corn cakes. His also had some sort of spicy beef concoction on top. Just incredible. A second house we went to had grilled salmon with a beautiful white sauce. I had all sorts of cheeses, cookies, chocolate and pies as well. GREAT night! And of course when I got home, I wanted to smash on an entire bag of chocolate chips. But foreseeing this (especially since I am currently home alone as my husband is staying the night at a friends) I instead BAKED my own cookies. This gave my tummy time to settle and my tastebuds a chance to calm down a bit. I made 5 small white chocolate, walnut and maple cookies. I couldn’t believe how well this technique worked. I mean, it worked RIDICULOUSLY well. I didn’t want anything else after eating these. Instead, I went and worked out for an hour and drank a bunch of water. Now I’m sitting here home alone, a whole fridge of food available, room in my tummy, and I’m not binging. ^_^

I’m incredibly proud of me. SO proud. And I’m SO happy. I’m no longer a slave to food. I can have what I want. I will stay active and keep working out. I will stop eating when I don’t want any more. I won’t keep eating just because I “won’t be allowed to” the next day.  I’m allowed to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I’m not on a diet. But in the end I see I CAN eat responsibly. I will get back to a normal way of eating. I won’t feel the need to binge. I’m excited about my future. Today was a great day!

Exercise: 1 hour on stair stepper while watching Cupcake Wars, walking around downtown for a few hours

I need a coffee grinder like woah.

I wanna start grinding my own coffee, for sure, but I also need something to grind up these seeds and spices! I made my own makeshift version of Chinese 5-Spice today (which I’m sure tasted NOTHING like real Chinese 5-Spice, hehe, but I did my very best!) and had to grind my fennel and peppercorn seeds with a little marble totem pole guy that I had sitting on my mantle! While it worked, I can think of so many uses for a coffee grinder (those seeds in that dressing I made yesterday, grinding actual coffee beans, making flours out of nuts and grains, etc…) so I think that’s going straight onto my Christmas list! Too bad my family doens’t read this blog, hehe. Anyway, for either lunch or dinner (or maybe both!) I’m going to specifically look for recipes to use the rest of my fake Chinese 5-Spice in!

Breakfast:

Pineapple Rice with Fried Egg

Serves 4

Ingredients:

– 1 cup brown basmati rice

– 1 tablespoon butter

– 2 cups water

– 2 teaspoons olive oil

– ½ diced red onion

– ½ teaspoon grated ginger

– ½ teaspoon Chinese five -spice

– 1 cup diced pineapple

– 3 tablespoons peanut butter

– ¼ cup soy sauce

– 1 cup spinach (I only had kale, so this is what I used)

– ¼ cup chopped almonds (I used chunky peanut butter, so didn’t bother adding more nuts)

– 4 eggs

Instructions:

Combine rice, butter and water in a medium size saucepan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat.  Reduce to a simmer over low heat, cover and cook for 50 minutes.

Coat a wok with the oil and heat over high heat.  Add the onion and sauté for 3 minutes, stirring constantly.  Stir in the ginger and the Chinese five-spice and fry for 2 more minutes.  Mix in the cooked rice, pineapple, peanut butter and soy sauce.  Stir until the peanut butter is completely melted.  Continue to sauté for 10 minutes.  Fold in the spinach and chopped almonds.  Remove the wok from the heat. 

Heat a small buttered sauté pan over medium heat.  Fry the eggs to your liking.  Plate one egg atop a few large spoonfuls of the rice per person and serve.

*So this was a recipe I found online last night while looking for a breakfast recipe using pineapple. I for some reason never thought to combine peanut butter and pineapple! Great combo! My makeshift 5-Spice was pretty good, though I will be purchasing a real mix of it soon just to taste the difference. I also wish I would have had spinach as I feel it had enough of a peppery flavour already with the 5-Spice and didn’t really need the extra pepper taste of the kale. Otherwise the rice was nice and gooey with the peanut butter and added egg on top and all in all I was not disapointed. Going to go looking right now for another 5-Spice recipe for lunch!

Lunch:

Chinese 5-Star Comfort Food

4 oz Chicken (ps, I always weigh my food PRE-cooked/raw)
1/3 cup Peas
1 medium Carrot
1 small Peach
1/4 small yellow Onion, sliced
1 medium Red Potato
1/2 T freshly “made” Chinese 5-spice (probably a bit less if you’re using the real stuff)

For the sauce:
Freshly grated Ginger
1/4 cup Apple Cider
1 T Soy Sauce
1/2 t Plum Sauce
1 t Rice Vinegar
1 t Cornstarch

Cube and boil a red potato for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, allow chicken and onion to cook in a sprayed saucepan until the onions are translucent and chicken is mostly cooked. Toss in peas, carrots and spices. Cook until chicken is done and carrots soften. Stir up all sauce ingredients in a seperate bowl. Add sauce mixture and peaches to saucepan and cook until sauce is of desired consistency. Mash the potatoes with a little milk and butter. Serve over the mashed potatoes.

I really needed like, a chicken pot pie today but didn’t really have the time or energy to actually make one. I also wanted to use up that Chinese 5-Spice I made and a pot pie just seemed a little odd to put it into. This was a nice compromise, I still got the “comfort food” effect from it and was able to use up my spices. It was quite yummy and something I would almost definitely make again, next time with real 5-Spice just to try it. ^_^

Dinner:

Tofu, Anise, Broccoli and Mushroom stir fry

I had just come home from the store and wanted to try this anise I’d bought really badly, but didn’t really have the time to look up a real recipe. I treated it sort of like I would onion and it seemed to work really super good!

1/3 block Light Tofu
1 cup Baby Bela Mushrooms
1/4 cup chopped Anise
1 clove Garlic
Whatever was left of that buttercup Squash that I had, cubed
1 cup Broccoli
A few Blackberries, halved
Spinach (since I knew I wasn’t using rice, I wanted something to bulk it up a little more)
1/4 cup Light Coconut Milk
1/4 cup Almond Milk
Splash of Rice Vinegar
Splash of Chicken Stock (or Veggie Stock of course! ~_^)
1 T Brown Sugar
A few Sage leaves, chopped
Fresh chopped Rosemary
1/4 t ground Ginger
S&P to taste

Normally I would press tofu for at least half an hour before cooking it, but I didn’t have the time tonight. I cut it into thin triangles and pressed them by hand inbetween a towel for about 30 seconds lol. So it didn’t turn out as crispy on the outside as it would have had I done it properly but its ok. It tasted great! So press your tofu for at least half an hour if you can. Spray a saucepan generously with oil and fry the tofu until both sides are golden brown, spraying a bit more oil as needed. Add anise and garlic and fry until fragrant (smells WONDERFUL!). Add broccoli, squash, mushrooms and spices. Fry until broccoli starts to soften. Add milks, vinegar, brown sugar, blackberries and chicken stock. Add a little cornstarch if needed to thicken (although I have to say, I didn’t need any in mine). Turn the heat way down and throw a couple roughly hand-torn handfuls of spinach on top. Cover and let spinach wilt for a couple minutes. Stir it in and serve!

I was CERTAIN to write this one down because I really really enjoyed it a lot. My biggest problem was that my coconut milk had gone a bit sour and I didn’t realize this untl it was already in the pan. It wasn’t BAD persay, but it was definitely not fresh. I added the brown sugar to counterbalance the slightly sour coconut milk, so if you use good milk, you can probably skip the sugar. The anise was an INCREDIBLE touch to this. I needed something to go with wine since my hubby and I were spending the evening together drinking Merlot, watching Sideways and eating some cheeses.

You guys…I’m really excited about tomorrow. Like REALLY really excited. I will let you know all about it first thing in the morning. You’re going to shit yourselves, yes, its THAT exciting!

Morning weigh-in: 125 lbs (finally back down to my target weight!)
Exercise: None today, instead had a really long talk with my husband about some things. Almost as exhausting, just as productive.