Food and weight-maintenence blog for the POST diet girl

Archive for the ‘Cardamom’ Category

FFD (Food Fail Day) but not an MM fail!

Anytime I fuck up my food, I shall start deeming it as such. An “FFD”, or, “Food Fail Day” since I seem to do this so often. I at least got my Meatless Monday correct.

One of my tendencies is to throw all caution to the wind when I screw up my first meal of the day. I become angry with myself and decide to make up for it, I will just eat whatever I want, fully convincing myself that it will make me feel better. It never really does.

Breakfast:

Buttermilk Pancakes with Sugar Free Maple Syrup

While I’m sure these don’t look the least bit messed up to you, I assure you, they are. They were not as fluffy or well-cooked as the last time I made them. They tasted acceptable, and anyone else would have thought they were great, but I was disappointed. The sugar-free syrup doesn’t help either. Ick. REAL maple syrup (or at least full-fat Mrs. Butterworth’s or SOMETHING) will be purchased soon. I cannot tolerate sub-par food anymore.

Lunch:

Because of the failed pancakes, I made cookies for lunch. As you can see, these were also a fail. The rack in the oven was set too low and the bottoms of these were burned before the cookie was even cooked all the way through. Goddammit. I made 9 of these I think…I ate 6. The last 3 were thrown out because they just weren’t any good.

Dinner:

Completely made up Coconut Milk and Yogurt Curry

Carrots, diced
Rutabaga, diced
Onion, sliced
Mushrooms, cut into chunks
Ginger, fresh grated
1/8 t Cardamom
1/4 t Garam Masala
1 t Cumin
Ground Red Pepper
1/2 t Turmeric
Fennel
Pinch of Sugar
Yogurt (1/4 cup?)
Coconut Milk (1/3 cup?)
Parsley for garnish

Cook root veggies until they begin to soften. Add ginger and spices and cook for a couple minutes longer. Add mushrooms. Cook until mushrooms are slightly browned. Add coconut milk and yogurt with a pinch of sugar. Cook until sauce is as thin or thick as you’d like. Serve on top of sticky rice.

*Dinner was not so much of a fail. I used up some veggies that really needed to be used. Throwing out food is the pits. It tasted exactly the way I wanted and was very filling. I nearly bought more junk food as I was out shopping, but didn’t. I decided on a reasonable dinner instead. It was still a fail day for the most part, but it at least had a happy ending.

I got a call from a possible mechanic about my car while I was out. He came over to look at it. He seemed really nice at first, very chatty and we had a lot in common. Toward the end of the conversation though, he turned out to be a complete racist bigot. I do not want him to work on my car. Finding someone else shouldn’t be all that hard. Someone who isn’t a bad person.

Maybe I will never have a working car.

Exercise: 1.66 miles

Friends walking in on you naked

Well, I sort of invite that sort of thing. Being that I leave my doors unlocked and all.

It started off normally enough with breakfast:

Pineapple and Yogurt on Cardamom Oatmeal

I made oatmeal with milk and pineapple juice instead of water, then I added brown sugar, a pinch of salt and a large pinch of cardamom. I topped it with some pineapple chunks and a big dollop of greek yogurt. Indulgent!!!

Lunch:

Boring PB&J. But always yummy!

Dinner:

While it doesn’t look like it, this is one of my go-to easy recipes with BBQ sauce and honey mustard!

BBQ and Honey Mustard Stir Fry

Adapted from: http://www.frenchs.com/recipe/honey-mustard-bbq-chicken-stir-fry-RE0476

Ingredients:

1 box (10 ounces) couscous pasta

1 pound boneless skinless chicken, cut into strips (No chicken, so I used mushrooms and peas!)

1 medium red bell pepper, cut into thin strips

1 medium onion, sliced

1/3 cup FRENCH’S® Honey Dijon Mustard or FRENCH’S® Honey Mustard

1/3 cup CATTLEMEN’S® Award Winning Classic Barbecue Sauce

Directions:

Prepare couscous according to package directions. Keep warm.

Heat 1 tablespoon oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Stir-fry chicken in batches 5 to 10 minutes until or until browned. Transfer to bowl. Drain fat.

Heat 1 tablespoon oil in same skillet until hot. Stir-fry vegetables 3 minutes until crisp-tender. Return chicken to skillet. Stir in 2/3 cup water, mustard and barbecue sauce. Heat to boiling, stirring often. Serve over couscous.

*This is a good comfort food for me for some reason. I just love BBQ sauce! I also wanted to be sure to EAT something just in case G came over after work and we’d end up going out “just for coffee” but would end up ordering food as well…if I go when I’m not hungry hopefully I’ll hold off on the food ordering!

I took a shower after dinner (once again, just in case) and had music up somewhat loud. While I was in my room trying to find something to wear, a close friend of mine walks into my apartment. I don’t hear her at all as my music is too loud, so she has to yell at me to get my attention! I decide I might as well thrown on a towel (even though with this friend it TOTALLY doesn’t even matter) and we sit at my kitchen table and talk for a few minutes. She decides she wants to go crash my work and steal G since he’ll be getting out of there in about an hour. We go and he is absolutely delighted to see us! It always makes me so happy to be around him! He tells me how much he’s missed me and how he was hoping I would visit or put a note on his car. I like very much that we can share these things with each other now! We ask him if he’d like to get coffee with us after he gets out of work. He accepts and meets us later at the restaurant. He and my friend get along wonderfully! We have a fabulous time and chat late into the night.

My friend eventually has to leave and asks G if it is ok for him to take me home. (Of course it is.) So he and I hang out for a while longer talking and talking and talking. You can’t get us to shut the hell up. The only 2 things that have consistently worked to get us to stop talking is good food or making out. And even that second part is a bit inconsistent on the conversational part…sometimes we talk while we’re doing that too…

He leaves around 5. He of course won’t stay. I of course don’t understand why.

Run run run, also Planned Parenthood

I am one of those individuals with no health insurance.

My retail job used to offer it to part-time people. They do not anymore. It was one of the biggest perks of working there so it actually it kind of a blow.

I still go to Planned Parenthood for all of my feminine preventative health needs. Funding however has been dramatically cut to them in the past couple of years. They are now only open for 2 days a week and only do same-day appointments. No calling and trying to schedule ahead of time or anything. So when you call, you get put on hold. If they get to you, you get an appointment. Once they are full for the day, they are full and that is it. You have to try again the next day.

I am out of birth control and they will not issue another prescription without a yearly check-up first. I tried to make an appointment today and did not get in. Maybe I will tomorrow, but if I don’t, then I have to have them “float” me another pack until I can make it in. I understand that they can’t magically make money/appointments appear. And I am incredibly grateful to their services. But damn…they make it really hard to not get pregnant. 😦

Breakfast:

Orange Yogurt Pancakes

Something fast and not overly complicated.

Adaped from: http://foodcomablog.com/2011/05/greek-yogurt-honey-pancakes/

 

Greek Yogurt + Honey Pancakes, makes 4-6 medium/large pancakes

8 tablespoons flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1 cup greek yogurt, 1-2 tablespoons honey, 2 eggs and butter or oil for cooking. Added: Orange Juice, orange zest

I only used about half the amount of yogurt and filled in the other half of the liquid with the orange juice. I also only used 1 egg. These turned out not so pretty, but tasted great! The texture with the yogurt was really good! I liked these a lot, I used sugar-free maple syrup on top.

Lunch:

In between all the INSANE amount of running around I had to do today, I was able to stop at home to feed myself and the cat. I quickly made this PB&J sammich and an apple. I ran back out the door to finish my errands.

I stopped at the house to pick up a couple more things and look after the fish. I grabbed the mail as well. I’ve got a letter from ex-idiot.

Lovely.

In it he write about how much he misses me and how much he hates jail and he thinks of me all the time.

I KNEW this was going to happen. I KNEW that he was going to get all this free-time in prison to think about what a complete and utter moron he is. And having no one else that truly gives a flying fuck, he writes to me.

I hope he doesn’t think this changes a damn thing.

Dinner:

Chicken and Cauliflower in Banana Coconut Sauce

Ok kids, pay attention because this was RE-FUCKING-DICULOUS!

Adapted from: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/south-of-the-sea-chicken-and-bananas/

Ingredients

  • 1/4 cup lemon juice
  • 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1/3 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup flaked coconut
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom
  • 6 very firm bananas, halved lengthwise
  • 3 cups cornflakes cereal
  • 6 pounds skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
  • 3/4 cup butter, melted
  • 1 kiwi, peeled and sliced for garnish

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. In a food processor or blender blend the lemon juice, condensed milk, milk, coconut and cardamom until smooth. Pour into a large bowl. Put cornflakes in a shallow dish for rolling.
  3. Dip bananas in milk mixture, roll in cornflakes and set aside. Dip chicken pieces in remaining milk mixture and roll in the remaining cornflakes. Place the bananas in one 9 x 13 inch dish. Place the chicken pieces in another 9 x 13 inch dish. Drizzle both the bananas and the chicken with 1/2 cup of the melted butter and bake in the preheated oven, uncovered, for 1 hour.
  4. Remove both dishes from the oven and arrange the bananas over the chicken in one dish. Drizzle with the remaining butter and bake for 15 more minutes or until the chicken juices run clear. Garnish with kiwi and pineapple slices if desired, and serve.

*NOTE I did not use the cornflake dredge and I did not bake this. I made a sauce out of the “milk mixture” instead of using it as a dredge. I just cut a skinless chicken breast into strips and cooked them with some olive oil and about 1/2 T of butter along with some cauliflower. I blended the other ingredients in my food processor (including the banana) and added them after the chicken was done cooking. I allowed it to heat through and simmer for just a LITTLE bit, but did not want a repeat of yesterday’s lunch. So I was very careful not to overcook the milk. I served this on top of sticky rice. OH MY GOD! Desert for dinner people, dessert for dinner! It was CRAZY delicious!! I just bought some bananas today and figured I should use them immediately. Little did I realize what an excellent idea this was!

I am EXHAUSTED after my insane day of running from here to there and back. I got to go work off some aggression over that damn letter at the gym. I love him. I will always love him. But I cannot be with him. He’s not going to last long when he figures this out. He is not allowed to take his depression meds in jail, so his brain is working overtime telling him what a fuck-up he is. I hope when he gets back on his meds on Friday he will be ok. I do care about him even though he doesn’t deserve it. I hope he doesn’t kill himself.

Exercise: 1/2 hour of yoga, 1 hour at the gym

FINALLY! A real update!!!

That’s right, I’m finally settled in enough that I can spend my morning doing a real update! (Instead of making myself a real breakfast…but it’s ok! At the moment this is more important than making myself some sugar-packed fruit cobbler.) Settled down? Absolutely not. Settled in, yes.

I’ve got everything I really need unpacked and set up. My bedroom looks amazing. My bathroom ain’t too shabby either (even though Jack Donaghy the cat has already put a couple snags in my brand new fabric shower curtain, I got them back out for the most part, so they’re not very noticeable…) and my kitchen? Well, everyone knows my kitchen is my sanctuary. I scrubbed that son of a bitch from top to bottom. From my tippytoes to my hands and knees. What other people consider clean and what I consider clean are clearly two very, very different things. While there was an obvious attempt at cleaning the fridge (as occasionally you could see Ajax residue in the corners), when you pulled the crisper drawers out, there was literally a layer of red. Dried blood and small chunks of rotting meat coating the bottom of it. It was absolutely horrid. I changed out all the contact paper in the cabinets, which took the better part of 3 hours or so. Measuring and cutting each piece, tearing out the old shit, sticking the new stuff on just perfectly. It looks great. Then the floor I spent 2 hours scrubbing. Anything labeled as “floor cleaner” is garbage. Toss is aside and grab a $1 canister of Comet. That shit cures ground-in dirt like unicorns cure cancer. Lucky for me the oven was the easiest part. The previous tenant obviously had little to no interest in using it. It was practically still brand new. I do not wish to own a microwave, so this pleased me. I plan on doing a vintage-feel cupcake theme in my kitchen. I purchased a wooden sign from work that says “Carry On and Eat Cupcakes” and a beautiful cupcake towel from Walmart. I will replace the cabinet handles with cupcake-shaped pulls in the near future.

My living room is still completely empty. Save for when the cat is sitting in the window that I’ve left open for him. I literally have nothing in there. I have no furniture. No pictures on the walls. No lamps. Nothing. And I’m OK with this. I’ll accumulate stuff as I find it and as I can afford it. My mum and grandma want to help me buy couches. I found a set that I don’t hate on Craigslist that are pretty close to me. So if I can find someone with a truck willing to help, I may have couches very soon!

I have a couple pictures of food I’ve made in the past couple days, but not enough to warrant real updates, so I will post them here for the hell of it:

Breakfast 2 days ago:

Lemon pancakes with strawberry rhubarb compote/syrup. I just added a tablespoon of lemon pie filling mix and a little lemon juice to this batter recipe. To make the compote, I just created a simple syrup (equal parts water and sugar) and thew in some strawberries and rhubarb, let that cook and thicken for about 10-15 minutes.

Breakfast yesterday:

Strawberry Rhubarb baked oatmeal.

Breakfast today:

Orange Rhubarb Scones

Adapted from: http://hopieskitchen.blogspot.com/2008/06/sunday-baking-orange-rhubarb-scones.html

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter, cut into pieces
1 Tbsp orange zest
2/3 cup plus 1 Tbsp heavy cream (I just used 2% milk)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Added:
Brown sugar, butter and flour crumble for the top

For the scones: Preheat the oven to 375F and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, combine the flour, 1/2 cup sugar, baking powder, and salt. Using a pastry blender (or whatever you can get your hands on), cut the butter into the dry ingredients until crumbly. Add orange zest and mix well.

In a small bowl, combine 2/3 cup cream and vanilla extract (the original recipe uses orange extract. I didn’t have any, but if that inspires you, go ahead and substitute it back in). Add cream mixture to dry ingredients, stirring until dry ingredients are just moistened.

From here, I just molded it into a 1/2 inch thick round and cut it into 3 pieces. Bake for 18-20 minutes, until lightly browned.

*I’m still getting used to my new oven. It heats RIDICULOUSLY too cold. If I set it to 350 it only heats it to like 300. I have to bump up the heat or else nothing cooks!! When I finally did get these to bake, they were of course, delicious. ^_^ A little crispy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside.

Lunch:

I snacked on some cheese that my husband left in the house that he told me to eat while running some errands. When I finally got home I had a PB&J sammich and an orange.

Dinner:

Chicken in Cardamom-Yogurt Sauce

Adapted from:  http://www.food.com/recipe/chicken-in-cardamom-yogurt-sauce-377382?scaleto=1&mode=null&st=true

Ingredients:

1/4 cup plain yogurt
1/4 cup tomato puree, canned
1/2 tablespoon cumin
1/3 tablespoon coriander
1/3 tablespoon canola oil
2/3 teaspoon paprika
1/4 tablespoon celery seed
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/8 teaspoon cardamom
1/16 teaspoon clove
7/8 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 lb chicken thighs, skinned and trimmed
1/2 cup cooked basmati rice

Added:
Raisins

Directions:

1
Preheat oven to 350°F
2
Whisk first 13 ingredients in a 2-quart baking dish. Add chicken; stir to coat.
3
Bake until chicken is cooked through, about 40 minutes.
4
Divide rice among bowls. Top with chicken and sauce.

 

*This was not the recipe I was looking for. I took a chance on this one because it was a little different than what I would normally do. I am SO GLAD I did! I will be making this for my family at some point. It was SO good. I made a ridiculous amount of food. I didn’t have any veggies with this, which is unusual for me. I had 2 bone-in chicken breasts that I peeled the skin off of before cooking. And just baked that with the yogurt sauce and some raisins and put it on top of white rice. I was BLOWN AWAY at how good this was. If you love Indian food, you will love this!

 

Well there you go! Finally an update! I have not gone to the gym or done my yoga in a week. I’ve been completely exhausted. Moving and cleaning are incredibly hard work. I’ve not needed a workout. I want to try to go walking tomorrow. I need to go to the post office, so a walk is definitely in order!

Wish there were more hours in the day

Finished a project that I started last night, did yoga, went out to buy more supplies, started and finished another order, went to work out, and I came home with the intention of doing even MORE work, but was just so bushed. I’d never been so tired at 8:30PM before. I wish I were robotic. I wish I didn’t need sleep.

I would be incredibly sad to not need food though.

I love it even more now that it doesn’t control me.

Breakfast:

Creamy Pear Cardamom Oatmeal

I just made oatmeal with milk instead of water. Made sure to use enough milk that it was nice and creamy. Added lemon honey, cardamom and pear slices. Topped it with some sliced almonds. Really. Really tasty.

Lunch:

Smoked Sausage and Kale Soup

I’ve made this before. This time I made it with less oil (hehe), beef sausage instead of turkey and chicken stock instead of beef stock. Find the recipe here.

Dinner:

TODAY I got to have leftover lentils! YES! They totally saved some for me! Life is great! AND I didn’t even eat them all, there’s still another serving left!

 

Potential Future Husband #1 really wants to get back into shape. Which is totally awesome and adorable. He tells me every day how out of shape he is and how he’s going to fix it. He really really wants me to like him, I can tell. Lucky for him, I already do. No matter what weight he is. ~_^And I really mean that. It’s interesting to me how much I actually DO mean that.

But it totally can’t hurt.

Exercise: 1/2 hour of yoga, 1 hour at the gym

 

FISH!!! (WARNING: Gutting pictures included!)

I do apologize ahead of time as I realize a lot of people who follow me on here are vegetarian or vegan due to moral reasons and will not want to see fish-gutting pictures. So here is a fair warning that they are included in this post as I am proud of my weird accomplishment.

I totally never get to eat fish. Shitbag bought a fishing license the other day and brought me one because he knew I really really wanted to learn to gut and clean my own fish. I don’t know why. It’s just all part of the cooking experience for me I guess. And I love camping, so it would be an awesome life-skill to have. ALSO if he goes fishing, I can pay him a couple bucks for a couple fish and it would save me a TON of money knowing how to prepare it myself. AND I’LL GET TO EAT FISH ON A REGULAR BASIS!!!

At least shithead likes me sometimes.

Breakfast:

Scrambled Eggs with Kale

Ok this turned out WAY better than I thought it would. I sauteed the kale with a little onion and diced tomato in olive oil until it was wilted. I scrambled the eggs separately, 2 of them, with a little milk, garam masala and a pinch of cardamom. S&P to taste of course. And then mixed them together and threw some dried cranberries on top. Um yeah what the hell was it about this? It was REALLY really good!!! Less is more!

Lunch:

Kale and Smoked Turkey Sausage Soup

This was so good I’d BETTER remember what I put in it.

1.5 cups Beef Stock
About 1/2 cup Water
Probably a bit too much Olive Oil (I’ll explain that)
Small pat of Butter (maybe 1 t)
1 medium Carrot, cubed
1/2 Turkey Sausage link (you know, a bratwurst-sized link)
Big handful of Kale
A little diced Onion
1 t Garlic Powder
1.5 T Lime Juice
1 Bay Leaf
S&P (not too much salt though, there’s plenty already in there)

I started to pour the olive oil in and the top pourer thing fell off. So I accidentally poured a TON of oil into the pan…I tried to take as much as I could back out, but the bottom was pretty coated. I added a little butter anyway…Mmmmm…hehe…and sauteed the onions, carrot and sausage in it for a little while. I added the stock, water, lime juice, bay leaf and seasonings along with the kale. I covered it and let it cook for about 10-15 minutes…whenever the kale is wilted and carrots are cooked. Take out the bay leaf and serve!

Dinner:

FISH TIME with Mz. P!!!!

My fishy friend!!! He’s a rainbow trout! He doesn’t talk much.

I think he officially ceases to be my friend anymore at this point.

Gutless. My fishy friend has been emptied!

Skin pulls off with the head. All in one swipe!

I then splashed on some olive oil, lemon juice, salt, lemon pepper and dill, wrapped it in foil and cooked it over a campfire my shithead husband had started in the backyard. It was……FANTASTIC! Fan fucking tastic. I’ve never had fish this fresh before in my life. Oh. My. God. You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten fish this fresh.

I also had about a cup of mixed corn and peas as a side dish. With a little salt and margarine.

 

I hope you at least sort of enjoyed my adventures in fishy-gutting land! I was really super proud of me. I know a lot of you won’t be…don’t be mad! He went to a good home in my tummy! I didn’t waste him at all! I just really like learning really weird little skills…it will benefit my diet in the end as I will be able to incorporate more fish in it! YAY!!!

Exercise: 1/2 hour of yoga, 1/2 hour on the stair stepper, gutting and cooking fish

 

Sunny Meatless Monday! + Craigslist link!

I am extremely sorry that I haven’t been keeping up very well with all of your blogs lately. I promise when I get out of here and things settle down a bit that I will have more time to read everything and respond accordingly. I feel terrible that I haven’t been able to keep up…I’ve barely kept up with my own. But it’s incredibly important for me to have this, I don’t know what I would do without all of you. If nothing else, it was really nice to wake up to a gorgeous sunny morning as it’s been pretty gloomy here for a few days. Maybe a walk later? That would cheer me up!

Breakfast:

Mango and Blackberry Breakfast Bake

I have made many variations on this before. I generally use this adapted recipe. I threw some greek yogurt on top of it this time and made a little less than usual as I was only mildly hungry. Super delicious as usual! I hope you guys don’t find me too boring when I repeat recipes, but this one’s a keeper! No flour, no egg, and an easy honey substitution along with the addition of oats makes for a good, healthy, yet sweet breakfast.

Lunch:

Peanut Butter and Jelly Soup

Taken from: http://www.foodbuzz.com/recipes/409959-it-s-peanut-butter-jelly-soup-time-

    1. 2 Tbsp Butter
    1. 2 Tbsp Onion, grated
    1. 1 Stalk Celery, diced
    1. 2 Tbsp Flour
    1. 3 cups Chicken broth (try low sodium)
    1. ½ cup Creamy peanut butter (try reduced fat for fewer calories)
    1. ¼ tsp Salt
    1. 1 cup Light cream (used Milk instead)
    1. 2 Tbsp Roasted peanuts, chopped
    1. ½ cup Grape jelly (can use low sugar or fruit preserves instead)

Melt butter in a saucepan over low heat. Add onion and celery and sauté for 5 minutes. Add flour and mix until well blended. Slowly stir in chicken broth and allow to simmer for about 30 minutes. Remove from heat and strain broth to remove the celery and onions. Next, stir the peanut butter, salt and cream into the strained broth until mixed well. Serve hot. Garnish each serving with a teaspoon of chopped peanuts and a dollop of your favorite jelly.
Make 4 servings.

*Today is National Peanut Butter and Jelly day! I had to commemorate the occasion in some fashion, but was out of bread! Soup to the rescue!!! You can see the swirls of strawberry jelly in this. It was DELICIOUS, I even made it exactly as written except of course using water instead of chicken broth as it IS Meatless Monday. ^_^

Dinner:

Some delicious deliciousness I made up entirely. Just an onion, parsnip, carrot, yam and pea stir fry with olive oil, light coconut milk, honey, a little soy sauce, a little unsalted butter, lemon juice, plum sauce, cardamom, nutmeg and crushed red pepper. Also threw in some raisins at the last minute because my husband’s best friend walked in a said it smelled “meaty”. The last time I had a meat dish with cardamom was with lamb and raisins. So I figured they would go well in this dish and MAN was I right! No rice or extra carbs in this one…it already had the yam in it and that was enough. Was really happy with this one! I just adore parsnip.

Oh also, I had 2 small cookies along with my usual ice cream as a friend dropped off some cookies for us. I was happy to see that I was more than satisfied with just a couple.

 

My husband was all upset because I’d posted on my Facebook that I had an apartment appointment tomorrow. He said I was “airing our dirty laundry out on Facebook”. Dude……we’re getting a divorce. If you didn’t want everyone to know we were getting a divorce, you shouldn’t have fucked up as that often leads to divorce. It’s not exactly some private matter. Everyone will eventually figure out you’re no longer together. It’s not like I went on there and said “Hey everyone! My dirtbag husband cheated on me, so I’m leaving him! I have an appointment to look at a new place tomorrow! YES he’s a shithead and I hate him!” THAT would be airing dirty laundry.

He just doesn’t want everyone to know what an idiot he is.

He shouldn’t have been an idiot then.

I also finally got my motorcycle up on Craigslist. If ANYONE knows anyone in my general area (Detroit is very close) that would like it and would want to help out a girl desperate to leave her shitbag husband, please show them this!

http://toledo.craigslist.org/mcy/2936961939.html

My cousin is also doing everything she can to help me, she knows a LOT of people. Thank you all so very much!

Exercise: 1/2 hour of yoga, 4 mile walk

Yet another lack of time day on Meatless Monday

I am incredibly sorry, but if I’ve made a recipe up today I just don’t have the capacity to remember everything, nor the time to dedicate to try and remember everything. It’s been a really long day. I did some apartment hunting and found a couple more really good prospects, so we’ll see how this turns out. I’ll call them and let you know how it goes!

Breakfast:


Cardamom Pear Pancakes

Taken from: http://teaspooncomm.com/teaspoonofspice/2011/11/cardamom-pear-pancakes-holiday-recipe-exchange/

Makes About 8 pancakes

Ingredients

Pears:

    • 4 medium pears, cored and finely chopped (about 2 1/2 cups)
    • 2 tablespoons brown sugar
    • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
    • 1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
    • 1/4 teaspoon grated nutmeg

Pancakes:

  • 1 cup all-purpose white flour
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups low-fat buttermilk
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

  1. For the pears, preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
  2. In a large baking dish, mix together pears, brown sugar, butter, caradmom and nutmeg. Roast for 40 minutes or until pears are soft and golden brown, stirring occasionally.
  3. Remove from oven, set aside.
  4. For the pancakes, in a large bowl, whisk together flours, sugar, baking powder, soda and salt.
  5. In another bowl, beat together buttermilk, egg, butter and vanilla. Pour into dry ingredients and mix until just combined (do not overmix.)
  6. Heat a skillet or griddle over medium heat with cooking spray.
  7. Pour 1/3 cup batter into skillet. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of pears on top of batter.
  8. Cook until little bubbles on edges start to break, flip and cook other side until golden brown.
  9. Serve pancakes with remaining roasted pears and honey or maple syrup.

*I have a thing for cardamom. The pear sauce made out of this was amazing, really light, not a ton of sugar. I added cinnamon and almonds to the pancakes. Super yummy!

Lunch:

Asparagus Lemon Avocado Soup

If anyone desperately wants the recipe to this, I will try hard to remember, but otherwise just rest assured this has no meat or stock in it (I made it with pureed avocado, cilantro, pistachios and water). And it WAS delicious. Hehe.

Dinner:

Dried Mango Yogurt and Veggie Couscous

I made this awesome concoction from pureed dried mango and yogurt with a little lemon zest, brown sugar, soy sauce, tarragon, curry spices, and rice vinegar on some sauteed onions, peppers, peas and mushrooms. I put all that, along with some extra chunks of dried mango, on some couscous. YUM!!!! Yeah I actually wish I could remember the amounts I put in this because it was incredible. Dried mango was on a sale! YAY!

So after calling some of the places, I may have a stab at a couple of them. There’s a nice sounding second-floor 1 bedroom that includes heat for $430 a month. There’s another complex that a close friend of mine lives in thats a 2-bedroom for $450, but includes nothing else. So I’d have to pay gas, electric and I’m told the coin-operated laundry there is expensive. But it would be nice to have 2 bedrooms. I dunno…I think I’ll schedule a time with the less expensive place to go see it. I have to cut costs wherever I can and I think the inclusion of heat/gas is really nice. I will have to ask him how warm he keeps it in the winter. Being a second floor place would be good as heat rises and all, so I probably wouldn’t be as inconsolably freezing as I was when I lived in the basement of a comparable building up the road. But that guy kept the building at like, 64 degrees in the winter. So I will ask what the guy usually keeps the heat at.

Exercise: 1 hour at the gym

Difficult times and eating disorders

I feel extremely lucky.

When I had an eating disorder, my brain wasn’t getting the right nutrients it needed to function properly. In retaliation, my brain inflicted on me a terrible depression among many other issues. I’ve always been an incredibly happy, optimistic, “never-let-anything-get-me-down” type of person. If I wasn’t smiling when I walked into my retail job, people (my co-workers, even regular customers) would immediately ask me if everything was alright. So when I became depressed and shut myself off from the world for a year, it was very apparent that something was wrong. This wasn’t me. Who was this? Who’s mind was living in the same body? Wait…was it even my BODY anymore? I wanted control…but this wasn’t even ME controlling myself now…so what’s the point? How did I let it get so bad that I once again gave up control?

Then 3 months ago I woke up and realized this was no way to live. I started eating real, nutritious foods again. I stopped worrying about calories and started focusing on good fats, protein, potassium, whole grains, vitamins and all those good things I’d been missing. I was so fucking focused on just one number and then wondered why things didn’t add up.

Now I feel absolutely AMAZING. My mind is back to my old self. I’m no longer somebody else. I am happy ALL the time, confident as hell, independent, no one but ME controls me. My body feels great. Looks great. I can take whatever life throws at me and shove it right back into its face.

List of shit I would be going through right now if I still had an eating disorder:

– Crippling depression. I would probably not be leaving the house.

– Severe self-hatred. No one could possibly hate me more than I hated me.

– Severe malnutrition.  I would have probably stopped eating entirely by now. What I would eat would probably be crap on late-night binges.

– Lack of any form of confidence. “My husband doesn’t want me. No one will ever want me. I’m ugly. I’m fat. I’m a mess. I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.”

– Self-blame. Even though I’d been nothing but an unconditionally loving wife who stood by him through thick and thin, I would have found some way to make this affair my fault. And I would have punished myself mentally and physically for it.

This is not the person you’ve been seeing this past week.

This was the disordered me.

I’m so glad she’s gone. This ordeal would be impossible to manage if she were still here.

I am lucky I woke up when I did.

Breakfast:

Strawberry Ricotta Pancakes with Lemon Walnut Syrup

Taken from:

Ingredients

    • 4 large eggs, separated
    • 2 cups ricotta cheese
    • 2/3 cup sour cream
    • 1 1/3 cups all purpose flour( I used whole wheat)
    • 1 tablespoon baking powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
    • 1 1/2 cups whole milk (I used 2%)
  • Melted butter

Preparation

Whisk yolks, ricotta and sour cream in large bowl to blend. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt and baking soda in another large bowl to blend. Add flour mixture to yolk mixture and stir until combined. Stir in milk. Using electric mixer, beat whites in another large bowl on medium speed until soft peaks form. Fold beaten whites into batter. Heat griddle or large skillet over medium heat. Brush with butter. Working in batches, spoon 2 tablespoons batter onto griddle for each pancake. Cook until golden brown, about 3 minutes per side. Serve with maple syrup.

-I also chopped up some strawberries and threw them in. Then I added a little vanilla extract, honey and cinnamon.

Lemon Walnut Syrup

1/3 cup Water
1.5 T Sugar
1 T Lemon Pudding/Pie Filling mix
1/2 T Lemon Juice
More water or juice as needed

Boil water. Dissolve sugar in water. Add lemon pudding mix and lemon juice and cook until thickened. Add more water to thin it out to desired consistency. Serve on top of pancakes with chopped walnuts.

*Yup. Holy crap. I didn’t get to whip the egg whites, but they still came out beautiful! They were delicious and not terrible for me! The whole wheat was a great idea, it was perfect with the lemon and strawberry! I would love to try and whip the egg whites next time, but honestly I didn’t need to. ^_^

Lunch:

Veggie Mix “Salad”

I needed something quick before going for a walk, so I microwaved some frozen peas and corn with some sliced carrots and baby spinach for about 4 minutes in a bit of water. After they were done, I drained them, added some chopped onion, Feta cheese, a little apple cider vinegar, about 1 t margarine, 1/4 t Chinese 5-spice, lemon juice, salt and pepper.  It was wonderful! Nice and light for an afternoon walk! Yum yum!

Dinner:

Apple Cheddar Meatballs with Red Wine BBQ Apple sauce

Apple Cheddar Meatballs

Adapted from: http://sweetluvininthekitchen.blogspot.com/2011/06/apple-cheddar-meatalls.html

Ingredients
1 pound ground turkey or pork (I used lean beef)
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
3/4 cup breadcrumbs (I used quick-cook oats)
1 small, tart apple, such as granny smith, peeled and grated
1/2 small onion, grated
1/2 cup chopped parsley (Instead I used mint and tarragon)
1 egg, beaten
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
I also added cinnamon and a pinch of ground clove

Mix all ingredients together with your hands. Mold into small balls and place on an oiled baking sheet. Bake at 400 for 25 minutes, turning the meatballs halfway through.

While these were baking, I made some vegetable linguini. I was going to make couscous (next time I probably will) but I wanted the good vitamins and nutrients out of the vegetable linguini.

Red Wine BBQ Apple Sauce:

Ingredients
1/4 cup Red Wine
1/8 cup BBQ Sauce (I used a Michigan Cherry one for more fruit flavour)
1.5 T Teriyaki Sauce
A splash of Brandy
1 T Applesauce (or in my case I actually processed some extra apple chunks into mine)
1/2 small Apple, sliced
1/2 T chopped Tarragon
Pinch of Cardamom
1.5 T Brown Sugar
S&P to taste

I blended all the sauce ingredients in a processor except for the sliced apples. I poured the sauce into a pan, added the apples,  and allowed it to reduce a bit until it was the thickness I wanted. I added some baby spinach and allowed that to wilt. I took it off of the heat and poured it on top of the meatballs and vegetable linguini.

*I always enjoy my apple and meat combinations. I miss my Captain Morgan’s Tattoo rum (my husband doesn’t even like it, but drank it all one night when he was desperate), it goes SO well in apple sauces. I always try to compensate with other alcohols and it never matches the awesome spices in that particular dark rum. Otherwise, if you had nothing to compare this to, it would be really amazing hehe!

I finally called my dad today. I had to break it to him that I was getting a divorce for the same reason my mother divorced him. It was really hard for him to take. He wants to see me for dinner sometime this week. We will talk over possible money/finance issues during that time. He knows I’ll pay him back, but I doubt he’ll take my money. He doesn’t need it. He can afford to give me $400 for a deposit. And even then, he’ll get it back when I eventually move out of my apartment.

I hope to get an apartment that faces East so I can watch the sunrise. This is the only luxury I am asking for. A window to the East. I hope it isn’t too much to ask…

Tragedy at the gym!

So I show up to the gym today. I’m getting all my shit together, changing into my workout clothes and whatnot, and I realize something really really really shitty.

I forgot my headphones.

Yeah, this isn’t going to work. I HAVE to have my music to work out to. The beat helps me keep a consistent heart rate and if the current song doesn’t have the right pace, I can just change it to another one. And working out to something I enjoy makes me happy which makes the experience awesome. So no music means I fucked up big time.

I decide that I’ll do the elliptical for half an hour. I mean since I drove out there I should do SOMETHING. I work out mostly miserably for my half hour. I’m thinking I COULD stay on for an extra 5 minutes, it wouldn’t kill me. But I was pretty miserable and wanted to go home. So I then decide that if the next song that comes on the radio in the gym is something that I just adore and couldn’t live without working out to it, I would stay for the extra 5 minutes.

Then Nickelback comes on.

This was THE BIGGEST sign that I could have POSSIBLY gotten to tell me to get the FUCK out of there.

I finished my workout at home on the stair stepper. And I was happy.

Breakfast:

No breakfast. I ate a lot the night before at my brothers for his birthday celebration and so wasn’t hungry in the morning for breakfast. I had coffee. Hehe. But yeah, the combination of cake and beer and cupcakes, potato chips, jelly beans, pita chips, hummus, etc just didn’t make for a hungry girl in the morning.

Lunch:

Tomato Caprese Sandwich

Just some tomato topped with fresh mozzarella slices, basil, salt and pepper on one side with a couple shakes of olive oil. The other side has a tomato pesto sauce with sour cream, grated parmesan and parsley. I threw that under the broiler for about 8 minutes. I also had some leftover lentils that I seasoned with a bit of garlic salt, coriander and pepper.

Dinner:

Peach Cardamom Curry Pork Stir Fry

5 oz Pork
1.5 small Peaches, sliced
Cauliflower
1 cup Mushrooms, sliced
Red Pepper, sliced
Sweet Onion, Chopped
Fresh grated Ginger
1/4 cup Pineapple Juice
1/3 cup Cream
1 T Soy Sauce
1/8 t Cardamom
1.5 t Curry Powder (or more to taste)
Red Pepper Flakes
S&P to taste
Dash Lemon Juice

I think this all sounds about right. I just throw all the meat and veggies in with a bit of olive oil and let that sautee for a little while. Then I add all the spices and liquid ingredients. Cover, let it simmer for about 5 minutes, then let the sauce reduce and thicken (using cornstarch if necessary). Add in the peaches and dash a little lemon juice on top. Let that heat through and serve on top of sticky rice. YUM! This was excellent! Exactly what I wanted. ^_^

Tomorrow I’m going to have to work around things a bit to have my Meatless Monday. I’ll be driving to my cousin’s and would technically be out there by dinnertime, but once again, this is the same family where the dad was judging me for having a salad for dinner. It’s just not what they do. So I guarantee that there will be some sort of meat in dinner. So I’ll try my best to plan ahead and figure out a way to keep true to my one meatless day a week. If I have to pick something up on the way there or make something to take with me to eat there, I will do it.

I’m SO excited about Tuesday!

Exercise: 1/2 hour at the gym, 1/2 hour stair-stepping