I’m incredibly nervous about my date tomorrow.
I don’t know why. It’s not like we’ve never had sex. We have. Twice. (Though he would like to think it was more ~_^.)
And not that we WILL have sex.
But I’m still so nervous.
I spent the day walking and shopping and working just to keep my mind busy. So I don’t freak out.
I have a ton of confidence. I love the power I have over guys. It’s so easy.
But with him…he’s always been my biggest weakness. I can’t get too far into it because…I don’t want to…but when he wants me around, I’m there in a heartbeat. And I always have been.
I made a mix CD 3 years ago called “Songs That Remind Me of My Ex-Boyfriends”, but really its just 5 tracks that remind me of him and 5 that don’t remind me of anyone in particular.
Every time my husband was out of town, he was the first one I’d call. Every. Time.
I never ever cheated on my husband. But goddamn if it wasn’t difficult when “he” was around.
Every time he’d have a party for his birthday, I was invited. We’d get drunk and he’d hang all over me. I’m sure our friends were like “Dude, she’s married. Don’t do that. She’ll break your heart.” I’m sure they know. About everything. Because I’m hot. And guys dish to each other on the hot girls they bang.
Look, I’m just being honest here.
I’m so nervous.
Just cereal. A lot to do today. Needed it to be quick and fast so I could go on a walk. And walk I did. For hours. I went to a local meat market to check out what they had for a requested birthday dinner from Potential Future Husband #1. With Alton’s words repeating in my head, I check out the cuts of meat closely and study what I see. As I’m doing this I look up and see these little advertising postcards for Next Food Network Star. I gasp loudly and with a massive smile on my face grab for the one with Alton on it and cradle it all the way out the door. I don’t normally post pictures of me, but I’d like to make an exception for this:
Dear God I love that man.
Spicy Peanut Eggplant And Shallot Stew
1 lb. Eggplant, peeled, chopped in 1/2 inch cubes
1 tsp salt
4 oz. Shallots, peeled and sliced very thin (Did not have, so I omitted these)
1/4 cup peanut oil
1 medium yellow onion, diced
1 hot chili, seeded and minced
1” cube of ginger, peeled and minced
1 tsp ground cumin
1/8-1/4 tsp ground cayenne pepper (optional)
1 tsp ground coriander
1/4 tsp ground tumeric
1/3 cup tomato paste
1 16 oz. Can roasted diced tomatoes w/ juice
5 cups water or light veggie broth
1/2 cup creamy or chunky natural peanut butter
6 oz green beans, trimmed and cut into 2 inch pieces
2 T fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup coarsely chopped cilantro, lightly packed
chopped roasted peanuts and cilantro leaves for garnish
In a large bowl or colander toss eggplant cubes with salt. Allow to sit of 30 minutes to soften, then gently rinse eggplant chunks with cold running water. Drain and set aside.
In a large stock pot heat 2 T peanut oil over medium high heat. Add shallots and fry, occasionally stirring, for about 20 minutes until very soft, browned and slightly caramelized. Scoop shallots out of pot and set aside.
Add 1 T of oil to pot and add eggplant, stirring to coat with oil. Stir and cook eggplant for 12-15 minutes until slightly tender. Remove eggplant from heat and set aside (I toss it in the same bowl with the shallots).
Add remaining 1 T of oil to the pot again, then add ginger and chile and fry for 30 seconds. Add ground cumin, coriander, tumeric and fry for another 30 second then add onion. Stir and fry till onion is just slightly soft and translucent, about 5-6 minutes. Add tomato paste, stir and fry mixture for 1 minute.
Pour diced tomatoes, water or broth, eggplant, string beans and shallots into pot with frying onion/spice mixture. Stir to combined and raise heat to medium high. Bring to a boil for 5 minutes, then reduce heat.
In a separate bowl stir peanut butter to combine any separated oils. Pour a ladleful of hot soup onto peanut butter. Stir peanut butter with soup till creamy and peanut butter is completely emulsified. Scrape peanut butter mixture into rest of simmering soup, stirring to combine.
Simmer soup on medium-low heat, covered, for 35-45 minutes or until eggplant is very tender. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro and lemon juice. Salt to taste after soup has cooled for at least half an hour. True to soup form, the taste improves when heated up the next day.
*There was a LOT of this I did not do hehe. I did not give the eggplant time to drain, nor did I give the onions a half an hour to caramelize properly NOR did I let it simmer for 45 minutes. Otheriwise, all the other ingredients I had and used and it was AWESOME. It was creamy and spicy and a perfect way to use up that eggplant!
Balsamic Strawberry Chicken
I referenced this recipe for tonight’s dinner. Which as usual was fanfuckingtastic. I put it on sticky rice instead of puree this time, but of course it was still wonderful.
I finished a couple of orders to take my mind off of being so nervous. I can’t imagine the absolute wreck I’m going to be tomorrow….I kind of want to throw up. (You can take that any way you want.)
Exercise: 6 mile walk