Food and weight-maintenence blog for the POST diet girl

Archive for the ‘Strawberry’ Category

5 minutes

Once again, I made muffins for breakfast in my test kitchen:

Miss P’s Test Kitchen: Experiment #3 – Spiced Buttermilk Muffins

Taken from: http://www.mylifeasamrs.com/2012/01/spiced-buttermilk-muffins.html

The most moist 7 delicious spiced muffins!

Ingredients:

For the Muffins:
1 cup + 2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 cup butter (1 stick)
3 eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons allspice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup + 1 tablespoon buttermilk

For the Streusel Topping:
1 cup finely chopped walnuts
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon allspice

Directions:

For the Streusel Topping:
Combine ingredients in a small bowl and set aside until ready to use.

For the Muffins:

Preheat oven to 375°. Prepare muffin tins with muffin papers or parchment paper.

In a medium mixing bowl (or bowl of a stand mixer) cream together the sugar and butter until thoroughly mixed. Add eggs, one at a time, and beat until combined.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, allspice, and cinnamon. Slowly add the flour and the buttermilk to the sugar/butter mixture (alternating wet with dry) and mix at low speed until smooth and combined well.

Fill each of the prepared muffin tins about 3/4 full with the batter. Add a rounded tablespoon of the streusel topping on top of each muffin cup of batter. Bake immediately so the topping doesn’t sink to the bottom of the muffin.

Bake for 20-28 minutes, until golden brown and when a toothpick is inserted into the middle of the muffin it comes out clean. (Oven temps vary, so check the muffins after 20 minutes).

Serve hot!

*I baked these at 350° for 21 minutes. I was disappointed in using butter instead of oil, they simply were not very moist because of this. So from now on, I will use oil. They didn’t burn or brown too much on the outside, but still had an awfully thick “shell” of brownness around them. Hm…perhaps it is the baking pan I am using? I’ve heard that since it is a darker colour that it may not be the optimum tool for the job as they tend to cook the outsides too fast. To test this theory, I will try my ceramic pan tomorrow. Then the next day my lighter-coloured aluminum ones.

I do highly recommend the spices in this recipe, if nothing else. So far, I liked the first combination of ingredients the best as they rose really well, but preferred the second temperature/baking time. I will try again tomorrow!

Lunch:

Usual.

I did give one of these to G. I stopped by work in the evening to say hi and bring him baked goods. He was elated to see me. That made me feel wonderful about myself. He complimented me so much in the 5 minutes I was there, I nearly cried. He treats me so much better than any other man ever has.

It’s crazy when 5 minutes can change your entire outlook on the day. And make you feel like the most beautiful, most amazing woman in the world.

Dinner:

Strawberry Balsamic Chicken on Couscous

Adapted from: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/strawberry-balsamic-chicken/

Ingredients:
4 (8 ounce) containers strawberry
yogurt
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon kosher salt
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon lemon juice
4 large strawberries
2 teaspoons minced fresh parsley
1 teaspoon minced fresh mint leaves
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar (optional)
Directions:
1. In a medium bowl, stir together the yogurt, 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar, sugar, pepper, cinnamon and salt. Place chicken breast halves in a shallow baking dish, and pour the sauce over them. Refrigerate for 1 hour, turning chicken over half way through.
2. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Scrape the marinade off of the chicken breasts, and place them into the hot oil. Quickly brown the chicken on both sides, then reduce the heat to medium-low, cover, and cook until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat, and let rest for 3 minutes.
3. While the chicken is cooking, transfer the marinade to a saucepan. Bring to a low simmer over medium heat. Remove stems from strawberries, and slice thinly so they will fan nicely. Set aside.
4. Slice chicken breasts on the diagonal into 1/2 inch thick slices. Place on serving plates, and sprinkle with lemon juice. Spoon about 2 tablespoons of the marinade over each chicken breast, and fan one sliced strawberry over the top. Garnish with a sprinkle of fresh mint and parsley. If you really love balsamic vinegar, finish the dish off with an artful drizzle.

*Okay, I in no way made it like this at all. But I WANT to at some point. I bascially just cooked some chicken breast strips with olive oil, onions, mushrooms and strawberries, added the balsamic, yogurt, sugar, and spices mix and served it on couscous. I will make this properly at some point, but not tonight. I just wanted to get this done fast and don’t have time to let the chicken marinate properly.

Still haven’t been able to get back to the gym yet. I was working from home all day, I did very well and got a lot accomplished! I am still working out a time that I can get there.

Remembering what having a car is like on MM

I now feel so much more…busy.

Oddly enough. Before, there at least seemed to be enough hours in the day for everything that needed to be done. Now with access to a more efficient means of transportation, there seems to be a lack of hours for the things I need, and now WANT, to get done. When there is no means to move large objects that one wants but does not NEED, one expresses no desire to do so as it is not a necessity. Now that there IS a mode of transportation of such things, all of a sudden there feels as though there is a need. I need a table to put my gigantor TV on. I need lamps in my living room. I need more large mirrors. I need a coffee table. I need an area rug. I did not “need” these things a week ago. Curbing outrageous spending has got to take place now that a vehicle is currently in play.

For right now, I “need” a costume for Wednesday. I was just going to throw together something with items I already own. For the most part I still am. G came up with the INCREDIBLE idea that I be Mothra. All that would need to be purchased is a pair of rainbow wings and maybe some paint. I am going to look so wonderful and no one will have ANY idea who I’m trying to be.

Breakfast:

Buttermilk Pancakes with Strawberry Syrup

For reference, and because my site was not searchable even to me when I had my privacy settings on, I need to repost the buttermilk pancake recipe that I use.

Taken from: http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2011/02/11/best-buttermilk-pancakes/

Ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
2 cups buttermilk
¼ cup sour cream
2 eggs
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 to 2 teaspoon vegetable oil, for greasing the pan

Directions:

1. Whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a medium bowl. In a second medium bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, sour cream, eggs and melted butter. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients; gently stir until just combined (batter should remain lumpy with a few streaks of flour). Do not overmix. Allow the batter to sit for 10 minutes before cooking.

2. Heat 1 teaspoon of the vegetable oil in a nonstick skillet over medium heat until shimmering. Using a paper towel, carefully wipe out oil, leaving a thin film of oil on the bottom of the pan. Using ¼ cup measure, portion batter into pan in 4 places. Cook until edges are set, first side is golden brown, and bubbles on surface are just beginning to break, 2 to 3 minutes. Using a thin, wide spatula, flip pancakes and continue to cook until second side is golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes longer. Serve pancakes immediately. Repeat with remaining batter, using remaining oil as needed.

*Note 1: This recipe was formulated using lower-protein flour such as Pillsbury and Gold Medal. If you use flour with a little higher protein content like King Arthur, you will need to add 1 to 2 more tablespoons of buttermilk. I forgot about this at first, and when I mixed the batter I saw how thick it was. I added 1½ more tablespoons of buttermilk and the batter was perfect.

*Note 2: If you make these on an electric griddle, preheat it to 350 degrees F.

I now finally have an electric griddle!!!! No more guesswork or overcooked/undercooked pancakes! These were beautiful, perfectly golden, and tasted fantastic! The homemade syrup (1/4 cup water, 1/4 cup sugar and half a cup slices strawberries simmered for about 20 mins) and homemade whipped cream were a perfect compliment! I bought my griddle on a sale for $18. It’s HUGE and will be perfect for when I start making breakfast for more than 1. (I swear to God it WILL happen someday!)

Lunch:

Yum! Pictures of my boring food at least turn out cute sometimes.

For dinner, I took a very close friend of mine to our favourite Thai restaurant. I had the Mat-sa-man with tofu and rice. (DING DING DING! I finally got it right!!!) It also came with a small salad. This dish is spectacular and I would do just about anything to recreate it.

It was refreshing to see my friend. She has also been without a vehicle all summer, so we hardly got to see each other for 4 months. Having some girl time was nice. I love my beau, but he is not female and would not understand female problems in the way another woman would. I ate all of my food.

Getting closer to my birthday next month I am starting to wonder…who will be making ME cupcakes?

 

3 meals!!!

I had 3 meals today!

Granted, I only took pictures of 2 of them.

And then I actually had a second dinner and second dessert…

4 meals?

We eat so badly.

Breakfast:

Strawberry Cream Cheese Crepes

Crepes:

Taken from: http://www.closetcooking.com/2007/09/crepes.html

Ingredients

1/2 cup flour
1 egg
3/4 cup milk
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon butter, melted

Directions

1. Mix everything in a large bowl.
2. Pour 1/4 cup of the mixture into a lightly buttered pan heated at medium.
3. Tilt the pan and turn so that the mixture evenly coats the entire bottom of the pan.
4. Cook the crepe until golden brown on the bottom, about 2 minutes.
5. Flip and cook the other side until golden brown.

Filling:

Taken from: http://www.closetcooking.com/2008/06/strawberry-cheesecake-crepe.html

Ingredients:
1 (4 ounce) package cream cheese (softened)
1/4 cup icing sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon zest
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 batch crepes
4 tablespoons strawberry jam
2 cups strawberries (sliced)

Directions:
1. Mix the cream cheese, icing sugar, lemon juice, lemon zest and vanilla in a bowl.
2. Whip the heavy cream and fold it into the cream cheese mixture.
3. Spread 1 table spoon strawberry jam onto a crepe.
4. Add 1/4 cup of the cream cheese mixture and some strawberries in the crepe, roll and serve.

I was out of milk and had no cream so I used greek yogurt instead. GREAT substitute! These were probably the best crepes I’ve ever made (save for those insane mango ones I made once…but these are better for you.)

Lunch:

I had a PB&J sammich for lunch and an orange.

Dinner:

Sausage and Veggies on Rice

1/4 lb ground Sausage
1/3 c Peas
1 small ear of Corn, cut off cob
Some Onion, diced
1/2 cup Mushrooms, sliced
Shredded Cheddar
Oh crap what did I put in this? Uhhh…OH YEAH
1 T Hoisin sauce
1 T Honey Mustard
A big shake of Cajun Seasoning
S&P to taste

*Yeah I just sorta cooked all that together and put it on some white rice. Once again, very very good! I don’t know how it was, but it was! I mean really good! Go me!!! I also had ice cream for dessert.

I had to walk to work/the post office at some point today. I of course choose to do it during the  convenient time when G will be getting off of work in an hour. I get to work and go to request a day off (date of course), and then go visit him in his department. The crazy bastard hands me his keys so if I want I can wait in his car for him to get off work. I walk a package to the post office, come back to work, throw my bookbag into his car and lay on the pavement listening to music bouncing along to the beat. (It’s such a nice night, I am not waiting in a car…hehe). He calls me “fascinating” as he approaches. I don’t know how…I’m just listening to music outside on a beautiful night…it’s nothing any normal person wouldn’t do, right?

We decide to get coffee at a 24-hour joint.

Coffee turns into us splitting a burger and fries.

2nd dinner turns into us splitting a brownie sundae.

We eat like absolute crap when we’re around each other. And then don’t eat at all when we’re not. Perfect eating disordered couple…

We go back to my place and chat in the car for hours as usual. Eventually we are all over each other and things are fucking amazing.

The end.

Oh he leaves at like, 4:30 AM. Luckily he doesn’t work in the morning. I wouldn’t have visited if I knew he had to get up early though. I’m considerate like that.

Exercise: 2.5 mile walk, 1/2 hour of yoga

Trying to calm down

What a shit day.

My eating suffered due to my shit day and my head that just won’t shut up.

I need to take myself back. All of YOU have encouraged me to do so. So I will do it.

I also want to make clear that none of my guys ENCOURAGE me to not eat. None of them do. If any of them found out that I wasn’t eating because of them, they would kill me (especially #3, he’s the only one that knows the extent of my problem though…). It’s something I do to myself, not out of spite to myself or because I “want to lose weight” because of him or anything, it has nothing to do with that. My emotions tend to rule my stomach is all. Butterflies have always (my entire life) kept me from eating. Sadness has always kept me from eating. These are not new developments. But it does seem more extreme now as food in general has a different meaning to me now than it ever had in the past.

I will not let all of you down.

Breakfast:

Whole Wheat Banana Pancakes with Strawberry Compote

Adapted from:

http://www.blissfullydelicious.com/2009/01/banana-sour-cream-pancakes/

Ingredients

1- 1/2 cups flour (I used all whole wheat)
3 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/2 cup sour cream (I omitted this and used a smashed banana instead)
3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon milk
2 extra-large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
Unsalted butter
2 ripe bananas, diced, plus extra for serving (My bananas are too ripe to slice, so I used them in the batter above instead)
Pure maple syrup (Made a compote instead)

Directions

Sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl, whisk together the sour cream, milk, eggs, vanilla, and lemon zest. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ones, mixing only until combined.

Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a large skillet over medium-low heat until it bubbles. Ladle the pancake batter into the pan to make 3 or 4 pancakes. Distribute a rounded tablespoon of bananas on each pancake. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes, until bubbles appear on top and the underside is nicely browned. Flip the pancakes and then cook for another minute until browned. Wipe out the pan with a paper towel, add more butter to the pan, and continue cooking pancakes until all the batter is used. Serve with sliced bananas, butter and maple syrup.

Yield: 12 pancakes

Strawberry compote:

1T Water
1T Sugar
4 big Strawberries sliced

Throw it all in a saucepan and let it simmer until desire thickness is reached.

*Since I used all whole wheat and banana instead of sour cream, these were a bit dense, but otherwise completely delicious. I didn’t use all the batter I made. And then I didn’t eat half of my last pancake. But I think I did pretty good considering I don’t really feel like eating. They were very yummy. I also toned down the amount of syrup I made, I tend to make a LOT of sauce/syrup for whatever I’m making and feel I need to quit this.

Lunch:

In a way I guess I sorta skipped lunch. I ate breakfast at like 10:30, and then had to leave for work at about 12:45, so I wasn’t exactly hungry for lunch yet.

Dinner:

I tried to eat a cup of chili at work. I got most of the way through it, I probably ate about 4/5’s of it. But threw out the rest. I was full and starting to feel a little sick.

 

One of the new girls at work may have a problem with an ED. We talked a lot today. She is really cool. I hope I can help her. I really want to. I feel like I’m not in much of a position to help people right now. Here I’ve got G on a diet not eating enough calories and this other girl who tells me shes had binge problems and that she thinks she is too thin and should gain weight…I want to save the world. But I have to save myself first. It’s conplicated.

I just need to stop and breathe for 5 minutes. Just…stop and breathe…

Exercise: 4 mile walk, 8 hours running around retail job

 

Project “Ignore” continues!

I didn’t speak to #1 all day again. You know…too busy and all. Just REALLY really busy…

I got my kitchen table today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love it so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The guys at the furniture store who helped me load it were INCREDIBLY impressed that I can back up a car. I swooped right back to the loading dock and jumped out of my car and they said “DAMN! Normally we’re standing here waiting forever while the customer takes their sweet time trying to figure out how to back up a car…” I felt…competent.

I get my table then head to another store to buy some gold paint.

When I get home I unbox the pieces and get to painting!

It’s oil based paint. So it’s taking forever and a half to try. Grrr….it looks beautiful though! I mean, I didn’t do very good, but it’s got that “rustic” look, so it’s just what I wanted.

I go on a walk to wait for the pieces to dry. It was my intent to buy supplies. I got as far as my work to refill my water and as I was talking with my 3rd favorite person there, I see PFH#3 over his shoulder purchasing something in the cafe. I get so many butterflies, I have to go…I also realize I forgot to grab a coupon I needed for what I wanted to buy. Shit…I guess I’ll just walk back home.

On my walk back G passes me and waves and whatnot. This makes my day wonderful.

I go to grab the table legs and the pieces are STILL not completely dry. But I can’t wait any longer. I put the thing together (carefully I might add, you try putting together a table without touching the legs really hehe) and stand it up beautifully on my own. I love it so much. It completes my kitchen and is so gorgeous.

I make dinner, but since the legs are still wet on my table, I don’t get to cook on it or eat on it tonight.

Breakfast:

BEST COBBLER IN THE WORLD!!!!

Adapted slightly from: http://www.kitchenlane.com/2012/06/very-berry-fruit-streusel-cobbler-and.html

Generous 3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3 cup red raspberries
1 cup black raspberries or blackberries
1 cup dark sweet or sour pitted cherries
2 1/2 cups pitted and chopped red or black plum, or apricots, or peeled, pitted and chopped peaches (or a combination)
2 to 4 teaspoons lemon juice
Dough
1 2/3 cups unbleached all-purpose white flour
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
7 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1 large egg, lightly beaten
Ice cream or whipped cream for serving

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Lightly coat a 9-inch by 13-inch flat baking dish with nonstick spray. For filling: Thoroughly stir together granulated sugar and cornstarch in a large bowl. Gently stir in the berries, fruit and lemon juice until well blended. Spread mixture evenly in baking dish.

For dough: Thoroughly stir together the flour, brown and granulated sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Add the melted butter, stirring until incorporated. Add the egg, stirring with a fork until mixture is blended and clumped. Sprinkle the clumps of dough mixture evenly over fruit.

Bake in middle third of oven for 35 to 45 minutes, or until well browned and bubbly. Test the center with a tooth pick; the particles should look dry and crumbly, not wet or gummy. Transfer to wire rack and let cool to barely warm or cooled before serving. Serve with ice cream or whipped cream.

Makes about 10 servings.

*I used cherries, strawberries and blueberries. And my friend, this was the VERY BEST cobbler I’ve ever made. It was so crazy ridiculous that I ate the entire thing. I didn’t even care. Hehe. DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lunch:

Just a PB&J, it was boring so I didn’t take a picture. I like to show you guys exciting food.

Dinner:

Chicken, Rutabaga and Mushrooms in Banana Coconut Sauce

Dear god I’m in love with rutabaga.

I knew it would go well even with this sweet dish since it is a root vegetable and inherently sweet. I reference this recipe that I’ve used before. It was delicious! I know you think it sounds gross. But really, it was SO good. I am a bit weird with food though, nothing is gross to me.

 

When I got online later this night, PFH#1 tried messaging me again. I sort of figured I didn’t want to burn any bridges QUITE yet, so I answered him. Jesus H did THIS open a fucking floodgate. All of a sudden he wants to talk to me. I couldn’t get the guy to shut the hell up. It’s great how ignoring someone really brings out the crazy in them. It was nice to feel appreciated.

He tries telling me yet again that he wants to see me. I tell him pretty bluntly that he’s full of shit. I say “You say that, but your follow-through is crap.” He claims work keeps him from seeing me. I said “Oh no, that’s ok…I’ve got another man willing to make time for me and take me to do all the things that you promise but never do. I’m CERTAIN he doesn’t mind filling in for you.” I do in fact name names. I want him to know who it is that is taking his place. I’m not interested in games. He needs to know that he is losing me and exactly who he is losing me to. He seems upset by this. He tells me he will make it happen. I say “I’m waiting.”

Not for long I’m not.

Movie date and work all night tomorrow with PFH#3. I’m so excited I could just scream.

I will also let him know that the invitation is there to stay any time he’d like. He will not take me up on it. He would feel like he is taking advantage of me. This is OK. It’s not about sex. It’s simply about the invitation and getting those gears turning. Getting him thinking.

Exercise: 4 mile walk

Happy post

I just wanted to say, G appreciates me so much.

We stayed up till about 1:30 AM talking on the computer.

First he asked me out on Wednesday before we work all night together. It will be the perfect day.

Second, he bought me a grill. He is out of his damn mind. Just a small charcoal one, not like a huge fancy gas grill or anything (I already want to kill him for spending money on me at ALL let alone him even THINKING about buying me something as expensive as that…), and I insisted he shouldn’t have done that. He basically says “Damage is done! If you want it, it’s yours.” ^#$)%&^%(*@!!! OF COURSE I WANT IT! It is something I can cook food on, and cooking is the most important thing in the world to me. Completely not fair to buy me something I couldn’t possibly turn down (as long as he barely paid anything for it…he keeps telling me it was insanely inexpensive and that is why he picked it up for me).

I hope he knows I already like him. He doesn’t have to buy my love. I adore him just as he is. He doesn’t have to buy me things, he doesn’t have to lose weight (although I know he really wants to just to be healthier…same reason he quit smoking years ago), he doesn’t have to take me out to movies or dinner (I am happiest just sitting in the car after work talking to him for hours…) All I’d ever require from him is his love.

I almost fell asleep at the computer so many times, but kept the volume up so when he messaged me, I would hear it. I didn’t want to miss anything. I wanted to stay up so badly.

Then I asked him on a date for the 29th. It’s actually a work group outing for a mutual friend’s birthday. We’re all going to see a screening of Monty Python’s “Meaning of Life”: at a downtown theater and I totally told him “You’re going and you’re going to have fun whether you like it or not. Because you’ll be with me. And I’m awesome.” He could not argue with this reasoning, so he will be attending. There will be dinner and drinks at a TBD restaurant afterwards so maybe I can get him drunk and get him to stay here with me that night. Actually does he work the next day…*checks schedule*…shitballs, he works at 8:30 AM…well all the more reason for him to just stay here.

Then he ALSO wanted to be completely certain I was attending ANOTHER work-related get together (co-worker’s retirement party), and as such we have signed our names as guests one right after the other on the list. So really we plan on going to that together too. So that’s 3 dates.

The idea of someone making lots of time for me is pretty awesome as fuck. I like being cared about.

Breakfast:

Sugar-free Banana Blueberry Baked Oatmeal

Sometimes I’m just in the mood for something with a bit less calories.

Taken from: http://www.alaskafromscratch.com/2012/06/13/blueberry-banana-baked-oatmeal/

Ingredients

  • 2 ripe bananas, sliced
  • 3/4c blueberries
  • 1c rolled oats (not quick)
  • 1/2t cinnamon
  • 1/2t baking powder
  • 1/4t salt
  • 1c milk
  • 1 egg
  • 3T butter, melted
  • 1/4c pure maple syrup
  • 1t vanilla
  • 1/4c walnuts, roughly chopped

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 375. Grease a 1-1/2 quart casserole dish.
  2. Lay the bananas in a single layer in the bottom of the dish. Sprinkle 1/2c of the blueberries over bananas.
  3. In a bowl, combine the oats, cinnamon, baking powder, and salt. Stir and sprinkle over fruit.
  4. Whisk milk, egg, butter, syrup, and vanilla. Pour over oats, coating evenly. Sprinkle remaining blueberries and walnuts over top. Bake for 35-45 minutes or until golden and bubbly and set in the center.
  5. Serve with milk.

Notes

Leftovers reheat well the next day. Store covered in refrigerator.

Additional toppings might include: brown sugar, additional maple syrup, more walnuts, milk/cream, etc.

*Interesting preparation, not my favorite way to do it I think. It turned out a bit on the soupy side, but still really good. The pictures at least look really pretty.

Lunch:

The other half of that cheesy garlic bread.

Dinner:

Strawberry Balsamic Yogurt Chicken with Roasted Rutabaga

Out of absolutely insane curiosity, I bought a rutabaga today. I wanted it. I’d never tried one and I wanted it. So I took it, I roasted it for 40 minutes with olive oil, salt and pepper, and finished with a little parsley. AHHHHH SOOOOO GOOD! I will be buying much more of this later.

I also made the balsamic strawberry yogurt chicken I always make, but roasted the strawberries first in the oven with some butter and brown sugar. Fantastic.

 

The only thing that could possibly make me happier right now would be NOT having to work tomorrow…because it means being there without G. And I am miserable there without him.

I worry about him slightly, as he asks my dieting advice a lot and tells me the number of cals he eats a day. The number is generally not over 1,000.

I don’t like this.

First of all, he’s a man. He needs more calories. Secondly, yeah he’s short. He’s only 5’8, I am taller than him in my heels by a good 2 inches. But he still HAS to need more than 1,000 cals a day..I think he needs at VERY LEAST 1,600. I worry that he wants to be what *he hopes that I want* so badly that he hurts himself. My dearest darling…I like you just the way you are. Slightly overweight and all. Because that’s not what matters to me.

I’m learning so very much from him.

PFH#1 did not talk to me all day. I plan on ignoring him for a while till I calm down a bit.

Date.

I am freaking out entirely now.

I thought I was bad yesterday.

At least I’m going to the house to pack up some more shit before going on my date.

I also made a make-ahead breakfast last night so I could throw it in the oven and get an early start on my incredibly anxious day.

Strawberry Rhubarb Baked French Toast

Adapted from: http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/strawberry-rhubarb-baked-french-toast/

Ingredients:

1 loaf French Bread
6 large eggs
2 1/2 cups milk (This is where I get crazy, I used half buttermilk, half sweetened condensed milk)
3/4 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon orange zest
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup sliced strawberries
1 cup sliced rhubarb

Streusel Topping:
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cold butter, cut into pieces

Maple syrup-for serving

Directions:

1. Spray a 9 x 13-inch baking pan with cooking spray. Tear French bread into chunks, or cut into cubes, and evenly place in the pan.

2. In a large bowl, mix together eggs and milk. In a small bowl, combine sugar and orange zest. Rub together with your fingers until fragrant. Add sugar mixture to the eggs and milk. Add in vanilla extract and cinnamon. Stir until combined. Pour evenly over bread. Combine strawberries and rhubarb together in a medium bowl. Pour evenly over French toast. Take a spoon and poke the strawberries and rhubarb down into the bread. Cover the pan with saran wrap and store in the refrigerator for several hours or overnight.

3. In a separate bowl, mix together flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Add butter pieces and cut into the dry mixture using a fork or your hands. Combine until the mixture resembles sand with a few pea sized chunks. Cover and store mixture in the refrigerator.

4. When you’re ready to bake the French toast, preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Remove French toast from refrigerator and sprinkle crumb mixture over the top. Bake for 45-55 minutes, or until the French toast is set and golden brown.

5. Serve warm with maple syrup.

*I needed a treat. I needed to do ANYTHING to make me less anxious. I made this the night before knowing I needed to use up strawberries, rhubarb, and sweetened condensed milk. It was so decadent, so custardy and sweet, SO bad for me…I felt great afterwards. Hehe. I only ate half luckily. I had to run to the house at 10 AM to start moving more shit.

Spent 5 hours at the house. At least ex-idiot was cordial and offered me lunch (which I did not take, though it was nice he offered) and shared his york peppermint patties with me. Candy is my sanity-food right now. I did ask him if my handcuffs were still under the bed (yes kids, I own a pair of Smith & Wesson black with blue finish handcuffs…used to use them on Potential Future Husband #1) while he was cleaning under there and asked him to grab them for me.

He knows I’m going on a date tonight. I’m sure his mind is just racing. Good. Stupid idiot.

I got home and unloaded the boxes into the basement. The other tennant was freaking out over this MASSIVE spider in the basement. She said she wouldn’t do her laundry because she was scared of it. She didn’t want to kill it and was actually waiting for me to come home to see if I could help her. Incredibly cute. I assured her I would take care of the situation. I coaxed the palm-sized spider into a bag I was already holding and let him go out next to a tree behind the garage. He was so cute. ^_^

Lunch:

PB&J w/Apple

Too nervous to cook.

Asked him if he wants me to show up early. He said yes. I asked him what I should wear. He said anything I want.

So I go all out.

Shower
Shave legs, underarms, bikini line (just in case)
Use scented soap I think he would like
Do my hair (it looked PERFECT)
Do my make-up (I pretty much only ever put on make-up for special occasions)
Pick out a beautiful skirt from Express circa 2000
Black button-up shirt that makes me look really thin
Multi-gold 4 inch heels
Re-paint my nails with a pink that my sister-in-law gave me
Pink sapphire heart necklace
No panties

I look so incredibly fabulous and fuckable. NO MAN could possibly resist.

I warn him that I am overdressed. And heading over.

I am so nervous.

I’m shaking as I’m putting on my nail polish. I somehow manage to not completely fuck it all up. I don’t know how.

I tell my cousin that I’m insanely nervous. She tells me not to worry. I got this. I’m beautiful. He already is crazy about me, everything will be fine.

And off I go.

I get there about half an hour before anyone else. He is actually outside when I show up throwing stuff away (obviously cleaning for guests and whatnot). I make a grand exit from my car. He says I am not overdressed. I look awesome. We go in and just casually watch some recorded stuff on TV so he can clear space for the UFC fight to record. We laugh and chat and just sort of…be ourselves. No pressure. I’m feeling less anxious. I remember why I like him so much. I’m so at ease around him.

Guests start to show up. I of course hope they see how hot I am. I hope they’re jealous of him. I hope they tell him hes so getting laid that night while I’m out of the room. I love it.

While watching the fight, we sit close, but not enough to make it completely obvious that we’d rather be all over each other. Commentary from the guys is hilarious. I’ve missed hanging out with this group. A lot. One of the guys brings candy. 4 bags of candy. Hallelujah my fucking savoir. I eat Rolos and Twizzlers and Sour Patch Kids all night. PFH#1 orders pizza, mentions earlier in the evening that he wanted to order the chicken BBQ one, but that he tends to get it without pineapple. I mention that I adore pineapple (of course) and would love it if he ordered it half with and half without.

He just orders the whole thing with pineapple.

AND eats it.

THAT. THAT kids, means something to me. Just the fact that he’s willing to try things and go out of his way for me is fucking awesome. Especially when it comes to food. Food means a lot to me. THAT was quite a gesture.

We have an awesome time, I am very much at ease around his friends because I know them all so well already. Its as if we didn’t all spend most of the past 10 years apart.

The boys all leave. I make it RATHER obvious that I am staying behind. I have no intentions of going anywhere yet. He goes out with the guys to throw out the pizza boxes (cleanliness, I like this) and I hope they all told him he was getting laid. I love that I know they’re talking about me. With “good luck”s and all that.

He comes back in and we watch Wilfred, a program I recommended that is awesome. While watching I do eventually make a move and grab his arm and rest my head on his shoulder. He rested his head on mine. It was incredibly pleasant. I could have fallen asleep from contentment. As I go to leave we hug for a little too long in the doorway. I contemplate kissing his cheek. Doing something. We let go and talk for a minute longer. We hug again, as his hands slowly work their way down to my backside,  I give him a very tender, short goodnight kiss on the lips.

He said “Thank you…” afterwards in the most shy way I’ve ever heard.

I leave.

I miss him so much already.